Understanding and Managing Grief, November 10 - November 23, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

Grieving adults must take care of themselves first so they can take care of their kids. Model healthy grief for children by letting them know that sadness and anger are OK. Remember that everyone grieves differently and help children figure out what works for them. Find a place for joy as well as sorrow in daily life. Helping Your Kids When You're Grieving Yourself « Psychology Today

Sadness is a hallmark symptom of grief, which in turn is the consequence of losing something we care about. In this way you could say that sadness and love are inextricably linked. Yes, when you are grieving, it is normal to feel sad. I would even argue that it is necessary to feel sad. But why is it necessary? Why does the emotion we call sadness have to exist at all? Couldn’t we just move from loss to shock to acceptance without all that pain in the middle? Embracing the Sadness of Grief « AfterTalk

Many of us in the U.S. are still picking up the pieces and wondering about the future after the horrendous hurricanes that also tore our lives apart. What can Dr. Robert Neimeyer tell us psychologically that can help us in the present or future when we encounter these sorts of natural disasters, wherever they erupt in the world? Trauma and Grief in Natural Disasters: Steps to Reconstruction « AfterTalk

A female friend told me recently that she had been in the pub with a mixed-gender group of peers. She had asked whether they would rather have a) a partner who would stay with them for ever or b) children. All the women said partner; all the men said kids. There’s some evidence we are on to a broader phenomenon here. Sort of. The only studies I’ve been able to find are from the US, but they tend to show young men are more likely than women to want children. Young men and the unspoken grief of being childless « The Times

Lydia Birk, 56, has held on to her favorite copy of “The Velveteen Rabbit” since her three children — now in their 20s and 30s — were young. She loved being a stay-at-home mother, and filled her family’s home with books. (All of her children could read before they started school, Birk recalled with pride.) She hoped one day to be a “cool” grandma who would share her favorite stories with a new generation. But none of her children want to have kids. And though that decision is “right for them,” Birk said, it still breaks her heart. The unspoken grief of never becoming a grandparent « Seattle Times

This is so easy to write and yet so terribly difficult. Easy, because every grieving parent is most likely thinking of their child who died most if not all day. So hard, because we know we speak our own language and that so many people, despite how well-intentioned, might think my thoughts strange or surprising. Add to this that Nick was 34 years of age, not a child, and you get that extra layer of not understanding a loss after six years. My Son's Words Broke My Heart. I Had to Invent a Word for My Endless Grief « Newsweek

College by itself is extremely stressful. With deadlines, homework, exams etc., everything can get overwhelming, but when somebody who you love deeply passes away while you’re in college, your whole world can feel like a shambles. It’s hard to lose somebody from your support system. Grief can be hard to navigate especially in college when you’re away from home. When grief hits in college, steps to manage loss of loved ones « The Torch

Dear Dr. Neimeyer, My partner committed suicide in front of me last February. He asked me to hold his hand. I always promised I’d be there for him, regardless. But this was something I couldn’t imagine . . . I’ve talked to ten people from the VA, explaining in full the details of my situation. It seems that if you’re not suicidal, they’re very lax about helping you. A Veteran and a Partner’s Suicide « AfterTalk

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