Counting Blessings and Giving Thanks

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ~ John F. Kennedy

When I count the blessings in my life, I find that what I value most are the treasures that are free: my family members and loved ones, my friends, neighbors and colleagues ~ and most certainly my clients, readers and followers ~ fellow travelers in life's journeys, as together we find our way through the challenges of caregiving, loss and grief.

Making Time and Space for Grief

It is said that Time soothes mourning ~ No, Time makes nothing happen; it merely makes the emotivity of mourning pass. ~ Roland Barthes

A reader writes: The selfishness in me is getting the best of me right now. I know grieving is normal but this takes the cake. I do agree with the idea of putting one foot in front of the other, as I have to do that each and every day. I have 3 kids to live for and take care of. (I love doing that). I can also tell when I step over my own two feet ~ you know the feeling, as if it’s your first day on your new feet, it is a hard day. And not having the choice to stay in bed is hard but I cannot. Not any day! Let me ask this question: Do you think that because we (I) have to go go go every day that it makes it even harder and longer that we take to heal because we have not had the chance to hide and cry and however we do grief?

Understanding and Managing Grief, November 10 - November 23, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

Grieving adults must take care of themselves first so they can take care of their kids. Model healthy grief for children by letting them know that sadness and anger are OK. Remember that everyone grieves differently and help children figure out what works for them. Find a place for joy as well as sorrow in daily life. Helping Your Kids When You're Grieving Yourself « Psychology Today

Coping with The Holidays: Suggested Resources 2024

[Last updated December 20, 2024]

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.   ~ Albus Dumbledore

Holidays can be difficult to bear in the best of times, but even harder when you are in mourning. This is why, especially at this time of year, many community agencies offer programs specifically designed to help. I encourage you to look to your local hospice, healthcare organization or funeral home to learn what offerings and support services may be open to you over the holiday season.

Veterans Day

We must never forget why we have and why we need our military. Our armed forces exist solely to ensure our nation is safe, so that each and every one of us can sleep soundly at night, knowing we have ‘guardians at the gate.’  ~ Allen West

From the VA's Department of Veteran Affairs:

Each year the Veterans Day National Committee publishes a commemorative Veterans Day poster. The Committee selects a poster from artwork submitted by artists nationwide. Over the years these posters have illustrated the rich history of our country’s service men and women. The poster reflects our pride and patriotism in saluting Veterans while providing the thematic artistry for the year.

In Grief: Mourning An Abusive Mother

It may be hard to play the role of the mourning [daughter] when part of you is saying, ‘Free at last.' ~ Helen Fitzgerald

A reader writes: Two weeks ago, my mother died of metastatic cancer. We had a strained relationship our entire life together. Growing up she could be very cruel to me, and that is what ensued as I tried to care for her. Before her illness, we hadn’t spoken in almost 3 years, but I wanted to be there for her and support her. I forgave her before she died and asked that she forgive me, and I feel a certain amount of closure which we were able to create.

But just when things were going beautifully, it was as if some demonic entity took over her being.

Understanding and Managing Grief, November 1- November 9, 2024, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:

My short answer is absolutely not! Why? Because we know that antidepressants alone (even when indicated) are not an appropriate means to provide comprehensive support to someone in grief.  Getting through complicated grief with antidepressants? « AfterTalk

Mystical, Sensory or Extraordinary Encounters in Grief

Whether or not hauntings are physical realities is irrelevant to the grief process. Anything that comforts or guides you in your grief work is naturally valuable. To spend time questioning the experience is to miss the point ~ and perhaps the gift. ~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Of all the various ways that grief can express itself, perhaps one of the most unsettling is to experience the presence of a lost loved one ~ days, weeks or months after the death has occurred. When one so dear to you is gone, it can be very hard to accept that the person is really dead.

You may find yourself thinking and dreaming about your loved one much of the time, and it may seem that everything around you is a reminder of the person you have lost. Once in a while you may temporarily forget that your loved one is gone, and you’ll look and listen for him or her ~ and maybe even think that you’ve seen, heard, smelled or touched the person. Part of you believes your loved one is there, yet the other part of you knows that’s not the case.