Setting Clear Boundaries in Grief

Boundaries in child-parent relationships basically establish that you're an adult with your own rights, choices, preferences and capacities.  ~ JR Thorpe

A reader writes: We lost our dad 5 months ago and my mother-in-law 3 months ago. My mom is constantly complaining that my 2 siblings and I are not doing more for her. I'm feeling very depressed with all the guilt she is putting on me.

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 11 - August 24, 2024

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Since he began specializing in grief counseling after becoming a licensed Mental Health Counselor in 2012, Todd Schmenk said the most meaningful response he has ever gotten from a client is for them to cry. “They just cried and then looked at me afterward and said, thanks for showing up,” Schmenk said. When it comes to helping others through grief, especially after losing a loved one, Schmenk said one simply needs to stop trying to fix the other person’s pain. The Key to Grief Is to Feel It « The Valley Breeze

Voices of Experience: Sounding The Alarm for Cats Dying in Clothes Dryers

A danger foreseen is half avoided. ~ Thomas Fuller

Prevent Tragic Accidents: Put Reminder Stickers on Your Washer and Dryer!

This past March, Anne's life changed forever. While working from home, struggling with internet issues during a meeting, she moved to another room and briefly paused and restarted her noisy clothes dryer. Tragically, in that brief moment, her beloved 9-year-old, 7-pound cat sought refuge in the warmth of the machine. Anne didn’t anticipate this, and when she restarted the dryer, her kitty was inside. Her cat perished in what has become Anne's worst nightmare. This is her story.

Transition after Loss: Spending Time in The Neutral Zone

One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time. ~ Andre Gide 

A reader writes: How do you bring back the "drive"? The desire to improve one's self? The desire to learn something new, or to go with your goal? Since my husband died nearly a year ago, I've lost this drive and it seems hard to get it back. I still want to achieve some goals, yet I can’t seem to find the focus, the desire to go for them unlike before. My mind is willing to try again, but my body is tired. One minute I feel like I'm going to accomplish something, the next I feel too tired.

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 28 - August 10, 2024

Best selections from Grief Healing's X feed this week:  

Remember, early grief is a naturally out-of-control time. And it is this loss of control that often makes people feel like they’re going crazy. I know it doesn’t feel good to be out of control, though. That is because change and unpredictability stress our minds, bodies, and emotions. Any time we encounter something substantially different, we have to assess potential new dangers and figure out new responses. It is difficult, being in new situations—especially those we don’t want to be in. But the more we acknowledge that control is an illusion, the more comfortable we can become with the constant change and unpredictability of life.  You’re Not Crazy – You’re Grieving Pt. 3 « AfterTalk

Widow Asks: Should I Adopt A Second Dog?

I have found that when you are deeply troubled, there are things you get from the silent devoted companionship of a dog that you can get from no other source. ~ Doris Day

A reader writes: I love dogs, and since my husband died, only my beautiful little Cockapoo saves me from living alone. I couldn't survive without her. I know how many dogs in shelters need homes, and one great no‑kill shelter near me may have to shut down for lack of funds. So I've been thinking a lot about adopting a second dog. But I don't know if it's a good time to bring a new pet into my life. I still hurt so much from losing my husband that the thought of opening up my heart again, even to a dog, is scary. And I've been a human companion to many dogs, so I know what to expect: Bringing a new one home would probably mean some bad behavior, an "accident" or two, maybe some chewing and (I hope not) fighting. If these were normal times, no problem. But with the limited control of emotions I have now, I worry that both the dog and I might be too stressed.