Using Writing to Help with Grief

We do not write in order to be understood; we write in order to understand. ~ C. Day-Lewis

Because grief is an intensely personal experience, your personal grieving style will be unique to you and your individual personality. You may find it helpful to return to activities of self-expression that satisfy or relax you, or discover new ones that bring you comfort and relief, such as walking, hiking, playing golf, fishing, meditating, writing or journaling; engaging in hobbies (carpentry, gardening, photography, collecting) or arts and crafts (painting, drawing, modeling, woodworking); listening to or making music; or simply talking and crying.

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 17 - September 23, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:

People bereaved during the first two waves of the Covid pandemic are three times more likely to have prolonged grief disorder (PGD), which can leave them lonely and in intense emotional pain, research from Cardiff and Bristol universities has revealed. The disorder, also known as complicated grief, can result in persistent longing for the deceased, intense emotional pain including guilt and denial, and trouble engaging with friends and planning for the future, all of which goes on for longer than six months. Prolonged grief disorder more common in Covid lockdown bereaved, study finds  « The Guardian

Anticipatory Grief: Coping With A Cancer Diagnosis

Understand there’s no right or wrong way to grieve, including anticipatory grief. It’s like the ocean. It ebbs and it flows. There can be moments of calm. But out of nowhere, it can feel like you’re drowning.  ~ Dana Arcuri

A reader writes: I am searching for an online support group for people and/or their loved ones who have been diagnosed with cancer. Three months ago, my husband (54 years old) felt a mass in the left side of his abdomen. Through several different physician referrals it was determined that he had massive splenomegaly. His spleen was removed last month. The pathology report stated he has CLL ~ Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. It is said to be stage 3. This week he will be having a bone marrow aspiration, to determine possible treatment options, if any.

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 3 - September 16, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:

When a loved one dies, “things” are no longer “just things.” In everyday life, the shoes someone leaves in the middle of the room can be an ongoing nuisance. But when the person who wore them dies, those shoes left behind can become sacred. The act of moving them represents a new challenge. Picking them up acknowledges the reality that they will not be left there again.  Why You Should Resist Taking Care of "Things" for those Grieving « Nancy Berns

In Grief: Supporting Someone Soon After A Death

[Reviewed and updated November 12, 2024]

Above all, show your love. Show up. Say something. Do something. Be willing to stand beside the gaping hole that has opened in your friend’s life, without flinching or turning away. Be willing to not have any answers. Listen. Be there. Be present. Be a friend. Be love. Love is the thing that lasts.  ~ Megan Devine

If this is your first encounter with someone in mourning, you are wise to do some reading about the grief experience, and to let go of some of the harmful myths you may have heard about grief and healing. Don’t assume that the person who seems to be experiencing little pain or sorrow is “doing well” with grief. Take some time to review your own personal experiences of death and grief, recalling who died, what was helpful and not helpful to you, and how you felt about it.

In Grief: How Can I Go On?

You never really stop missing someone — you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence. ~ Alyson Noel

A reader writes: I am so lost. My mother-in-law died a week ago. I loved her so much. She was wonderful with my children (I have four) and she raised a wonderful son. I am grateful to her for all she added to my life. For the last decade I spent time with her nearly every day. I looked forward to seeing her after taking my children to school, enjoying a cup of coffee and her company. We seldom had conversations about anything beyond the family. She offered me advice when I asked for it but never butted in or criticized. I miss her so much.

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 27 - September 2, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's X stream this week:

The early, dark days of grief can feel hopeless. Others will hold out the hope of waning pain for you, since that can be hard to imagine. Because we can't change what has happened, hope must focus on the future. Finding Hope in Grief « « Psychology Today