Disenfranchised Grief: When A Friend Dies

Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same.  ~ Flavia Weedn

A reader writes: A friend of mine died last month. I have been struggling to cope since then. We met only a few months ago when I did some work at the theater where he was based. We knew each other a very short time and I realize that if you've lost someone you've known for years this may seem so selfish and silly, but we really connected and I miss him so much.

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 22 - January 28, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Unlike other causes of death (like illnesses or accidents), which happen to the person, suicide is an act performed by the person who has chosen death, leaving bereaved survivors with guilt and haunting questions. Healing and Rebuilding Your Life After a Spouse's Suicide https://wb.md/3HDATzg

Acknowledging Jealousy and Anger in Grief

[Reviewed and updated November 1, 2024]

It would be impossible to estimate how much time and energy we invest in trying to fix, change and deny our emotions ~ especially the ones that shake us at our very core, like hurt, jealousy, loneliness, shame, rage and grief.  ~ Debbie Ford

A reader writes: My counselor came. We talked. I told her about my horrible feelings about other people who have been ill and are recovering. Instead of feeling good for them like a proper empathetic person should do, I feel sorry that they are getting better. How totally awful is that? My counselor said that it's anger that my husband died and they didn't. She said she asked me way back if I felt anger at my husband’s death and I said No. She said now the anger is coming out in resentment that others have survived and my husband has not. I think she may be right. I have struggled with this because it seems such a horrible attitude.

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 15 - January 21, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The truth is: We have very active imaginations. We actually CAN imagine what they're going through. We just don't want to. We recoil at the idea of envisioning ourselves in their shoes. So we tell them, and ourselves, that we can't imagine it, and it keeps the pain at a distance. Can You Imagine How a Grieving Person Feels? « Next Avenue

Voices of Experience: Heartbreak to Hope

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words. ~ Robert Frost

People who are mourning a loss often don’t have the mental ability to focus on books, so the short length of a poem is a perfect fit. Each of the poems in Kara Bowman's Heartbreak to Hope: Poems of Support for Grief and Loss captures a different aspect of grief. Readers will find their experience reflected on the pages in accessible and easily understood vignettes. They will feel less alone knowing that others have experienced the same feelings. They will move through the process of grief, having words for their emotions. And they will treasure this volume, coming back to their favorites time and time again for comfort and understanding.

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, January 8 - January 14, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

This year, I encountered my worst nightmare. Despite all of the trauma that I’ve experienced, no level of abuse compared to facing the one thing I feared most in the world: losing my best friend, my emotional support animal (ESA), Willow. How My Emotional Support Animal Continues to Heal Me Even After Her Passing « Your Tango

Pet Loss: Yet Another Kitten Killed in Clothes Dryer

[Reviewed and updated August 11, 2024]

A deliberate mistake is not the same as an accidental one.  ~ Frank Sonnenberg

A reader writes: My mother saved three kittens from a feral life when she found them on her property by a feral mom. She watched them closely until mom had started weaning them then she took them in and had been raising them for the last couple months. They’re finally big enough for their sterilization surgeries and they are scheduled. I’ve been around animals my entire life. I’ve worked as an assistant in the veterinary field so I’m no stranger to animal care or loss. However yesterday crushed me.

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 1 - January 7, 2023

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Comedian Cariad Lloyd has spoken to hundreds of bereaved people for her award-winning series Griefcast and a new book on dealing with loss. She shares the lessons she has learned. 16 Ways to Talk to People Who Are Grieving « The Guardian

New Year Resolutions for The Bereaved

Nothing relieves and ventilates the mind like a resolution. ~ John Burroughs

A reader writes: It has been 10 weeks now since my husband died, and I’m noticing that I cannot concentrate on things like I used to. I just daydream so much about him – good things and bad. Also my memory is not so good lately which surprises me. I just write down a to-do list for myself often so that my life won’t completely fall apart. I can’t seem to decide on what to do a lot of the time, and I change my mind so much that I don’t want to promise people anything.

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 25 - December 31, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Personal Perspective: Time brings healing, but also heartbreak. In grief, we must come to terms with leaving our loved ones behind in time. The passage of time is necessary for healing, but at the same time can be painful. Love is impervious to the effects of time. Grief and The Passage of Time « Psychology Today