Parent Loss: Coping with Mom's Toxic Beharior

[Reviewed and updated December 14, 2024]

We can say what we need to say. We can gently, but assertively, speak our mind. We do not need to be judgmental, tactless, blaming or cruel when we speak our truths.  ~ Melody Beattie

A reader writes: I'm having a hard time with my mom. My parents have been divorced for 20 years and frankly, my mom couldn’t stand my dad and often said so. She got a new boyfriend right when my dad died. In fact she introduced me to him while I was throwing up in her bathroom from the grief of my dad’s death two days earlier. She told me the day before the funeral that my dad was in hell. She rolls her eyes if I cry in front of her. I tried to talk to her about how much I needed her and she said I was an adult with my own kids, and I don’t need her. 

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 11 - December 24, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

May the spirit and beauty of the season shine in your heart and remain with you throughout the New Year. Once Again It's Christmas « Grief Healing

Voices of Experience: Slipping Away

Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.  ~ Ann Landers

Silver Butterfly Wings is a story of transformation, of the many paths and decisions Wendy Willow faced while going through the process of grief. The death of her husband left her utterly shattered, unable to imagine a life without him. Then signs from the other side appeared, filling her with hope: flickering lights, hawks flying overhead, their song on the radio, a butterfly’s silvery wings, a hot spot on his side of the bed. At first she was sceptical. How could her dearly departed be sending signs and messages from across the veil?

Coming to Terms with Mom Dating After Dad’s Death

Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.  ~ J.K. Rowling

A reader writes: I am having a really hard time coming to terms with my mother dating after my father's death, and how it has changed her. I am 34, her oldest of 5 kids, with 3 boys of my own, and after some recent events, I am truly worried about the future of this family and am at a loss of what to do.

Understanding and Managing Grief & Pet Loss, December 4 - December 10, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

"I brought my mom home to help her die. I had no idea what I was in for —or what I'd gain. All I knew was that she wasn’t going to take her final breath in a hospital." Home Hospice Care At The End of My Mom's Life: Lessons Learned « HUFFPOST

Pet Loss: Has My Cat Gone Off to Die?

Learning how to communicate with animals is just like learning any other language. The more you practice, the better you become. ~  Karen A. Anderson

A reader writes: Have you ever heard of a pet going away from home if they know they are going to die? A good friend of mine told me this just a few days before my 15-year-old cat disappeared from his usual favorite place to be, the front porch! Osh was 15 years old and never left the front porch. He was spending more and more time out there, and I always brought him in. That particular time, for some reason, I decided to let him stay! He and I were very attached to each other, my mom and I got him about 11 years ago. Funny thing is my mom passed away suddenly in a car accident 6 years ago and a big part of me feels like she was ready for him.

Understanding and Managing Grief, November 27 - December 3, 2022

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Parents, caregivers, and other concerned adults can help young people understand and get through challenging times. Even very young children can understand death and its permanence. How Grief Can Affect A Child -- And Helping Them Cope « EveryDay Health