• Offer physical closeness, comfort and reassurance.
• Look through photograph albums together.
• Talk about special memories and their relationship with the deceased.
• Read some of the wonderful and readily available children’s books on grief.
• Acknowledge and normalize whatever your child may be feeling.
• Talk about your family’s faith tradition about life, death and the afterlife.
• Be patient with their repetitious questioning (which is normal) and be available to listen.
As suggested in a previous post, one of the most effective ways to help children understand their own grief reactions (as well as those of the people around them) is to tell them a story. And one of the simplest ways to do that is by reading together some of the many wonderful children's books now available on loss, dying, death and grief. In addition, there are many outstanding books to guide parents, grandparents, teachers, caregivers and others in comforting and supporting grieving children.
Books for Grieving Children and Those Who Love Them
Most of the following titles can be found in the children’s section of the public library, or can be ordered online or from local bookstores. Because I own and have read each of these books myself, I am comfortable recommending them. Still, before you decide on any book, I suggest that you review it yourself first, to see that it matches your child's developmental level and experience, and to make sure that it fits with your own personal beliefs and value system.
Clicking on the titles listed will take you to Amazon’s description and reviews of each, or you can consult your librarian or bookseller for more information.
• After a Parent's Suicide: Helping Children Heal
• Angel Catcher for Kids: A Journal to Help You Remember the Person Who Died
• Baseball Forever: A Boy's Book on Grief, Loss and Healing
• Family Changes: Explaining Divorce to Children
• Finding Your Own Way to Grieve: A Creative Activity Workbook for Kids and Teens on the Autism Spectrum
• Grieving for The Sibling You Lost: A Teen's Guide to Coping with Grief and Finding Meaning After Loss
• Helping Children Cope with the Loss of a Loved One: A Guide for Grownups
• How Do We Tell the Children? Step-by-Step Guide for Helping Children Cope When Someone Dies
• I Miss You: A First Look at Death
• It Must Hurt a Lot: A Child’s Book About Death
• Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children
• Logan's First Funeral
• My Big, Dumb, Invisible Dragon
• Never The Same: Coming to Terms With the Death of a Parent
• Never Too Young to Know: Death in Children’s Lives
• Sad Isn’t Bad: A Good-Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing with Loss
• Scarlet Says Goodbye
• Someone I Love Died from a Drug Overdose
• Talking about Death: A Dialogue between Parent and Child
• Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Loss
• Tell Me, Papa: Answers to Questions Children Ask about Death and Dying
• The Color Monster: A Story About Emotions
• The Copper Tree
• The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ages
• The Heart and The Bottle
• The Invisible String
• The Journey through Grief and Loss: Helping Yourself and Your Child When Grief Is Shared
• The Memory Box: A Book About Grief
• The Saddest Time
• You Are Not Alone: Stories by Young Teens Who Have Experienced the Death of a Sibling
• We LOVE Each Other: a Healing Journal for Grieving Children
• Weird Is Normal When Teenagers Grieve
• When a Friend Dies: A Book for Teens about Grieving and Healing
• When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving and Other Losses
• What Happens When Someone Dies?: A Child's Guide to Death and Funerals
• What Is Cancer, Anyway? Explaining Cancer to Children of All Ages
• When Someone Dies: A Child-Caregiver Activity Book
• Where Did My Friend Go? Helping Children Cope with A Traumatic Death
Internet Resources
(If you know of any additional resources you'd like to see added to this list, please let me know in the Comments section below.)
• Boxed Up Project: Helping Kids Unpack Their Grief
• Children and Grief Resources from Hospice Foundation of America
• Child, Adolescent Grief Links
• Children’s Grief and Loss Issues
• Coalition to Support Grieving Students
• The Compassionate Friends
• Dougy Center for Grieving Children
• Kids Grief
• National Alliance for Grieving Children
• National Students of AMF App for Grieving Young Adults
• National Students of AMF Support Network for College Students
• National Students of AMF Facebook Page for College Students
• National Students of AMF Facebook Group for College Students
• New Song Center for Grieving Children
• Rainbows: Guiding Kids through Life’s Storms
• Sesame Street: Helping Kids Grieve
• SLAP'D: Surviving Life After A Parent Dies
• Sounds of the Siblings
• Stepping Stones of Hope
• Support and Training for Adults Nurturing Grieving Children
• Talkspace for Teens
• Teen Grief Support
• The Moyer Foundation
• Too Damn Young
Always remember: It’s all right if you don’t have all the answers. Sometimes there just aren’t any satisfactory answers, but it’s still important to discuss the questions. Children need parents to puzzle with them about such matters.
Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.
Related:
- 10 Helpful Tips on Talking with Children about the Drug-Related Death of a Loved One
- 10 Ways to Manage Tantrums After Loss
- 6 Ways That Adolescent Grief Is Different
- An iPad App for Grieving Children
- Boys and Grief
- Caregivers Guide: Helping Kids After a Death
- Centering Corporation's Catalog of Grief Resources
- Children Express Grief Differently from Adults
- Childhood Grief: The Influence of Age on Understanding
- Children, Teens and Grief: Links to Resources
- College Grief and Actively Moving Forward
- Creative Expression for Grief - YouTube Video
- Deconstruction/Reconstruction: WYG's Fav New Teen Grief Journal
- Death of a Loved One Doesn't Always Make Children Vulnerable
- Explaining Death to Children
- Explaining Suicide to A Child
- For Those in Grief: Talking to a Dead Loved One Is Good for Mental Health
- From 0 to 18: Talking about Death With Your Young Person
- Giving Children Space to Heal
- Going Back to School After A Death
- Going Back to School After a Death: 9 Tips
- Grief Activity Books for Kids 3-9
- Grief, Anger, Fear: How Teachers Can Help Students Cope with the Buffalo Shooting
- Grief at School: A Guide for School Personnel
- Grief During COVID-19: Supporting Children and Teens
- Grief in Children: How to Help Kids Cope With Loss
- Grieving A Parent's Death: A Different Goodbye for Millenials
- Hands of Hope: Helping Children Through The Grieving Process
- Harriet Hodgson: Raising Grandchildren
- Helping A Child Cope With Divorce and Separation
- Hospice Foundation of America: Helping Grieving Children
- How Do I Help A Grieving Child In My Classroom?
- How to Help Children Handle Grief After The Death of A Parent
- How to Support Your Grieving Children on Mother's Day and Father's Day
- How to Talk to Children About Death
- How to Talk to Your Kids About Death and Grief
- How to Talk with Children About Death
- How to Talk with Kids About Suicide
- Interview: Andy McNiel, National Alliance for Grieving Children
- Interview: Children and Grief
- Lessons from Lions
- Letting Children Share in Grief
- My Daughter’s Grief and a Box of Sticks
- Resources for Children of Divorce and Separation
- Sibling Bereavement
- Stewarding Children's Grief / Helping Families Heal Together
- Supporting Children and Adolescents in Grief
- Supporting Children When A Loved One Dies of A Drug Overdose
- Talking to Kids About Death and Grief: 10 Comprehensive Tips
- Talking with Kids about a Death from Addiction (Substance Abuse)
- Teen Grief Relief
- To Process Grief Over COVID-19 Children Need Empathic Listening
- Tools for Healing Trauma in Kids and First Responders in Broward County
- Using Children's Books to Help with Grief
- When A Family Member Is Dying in A Hospital or Care Facility
- Youth and Funerals Booklet
- Youth and Funerals on Vimeo
© by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT, BC-TMH
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