Pet Loss: Negligence or Accident?

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[Reviewed and updated October 9, 2023]

Since human wisdom cannot secure us from accidents, it is the greatest effort of reason to bear them well.  ~ John Paul Jones

A reader writes: I read your piece on guilt but I still feel terrible. As I write this I am devastated by the loss of a baby lovebird. Only three hours ago I went to hand feed him and found he was gone. I had checked on him about an hour before that and he was sleeping. This little peach face delight was the only survivor from a clutch and what an unusual little bird he was. I started hand feeding him at only a few days old and I could see early on he was much different than any other baby I’ve ever raised. I have raised dozens over the years. This little one could perch and climb at a younger age than any youngster I ever had – and this is the root of my guilt.

Caregiving, Grief and Pet Loss, November 10 - November 23, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream these last two weeks:

Sometimes, holidays can be a very painful time for people who are experiencing their first (or second or third, etc.) special holiday without their loved one who has died. Pet Loss & the Holidays: 4 Things To Consider When Grieving During the Holidays (or any time!) https://j.mp/2OyTXBS « Animal Souls Matter

When we work with a counselor about the devastating loss of a loved one, we deserve to feel cared about, that we are in the hands of someone who is compassionate with us, non-judgmental, knowledgeable about grief, and is trained and skilled as a counselor. How to Choose and Work With a Grief Counselor for Pet Loss: What You Deserve and What You Should Expect, https://j.mp/37Grfb4  « Animal Souls Matter

A program at The Ohio State University Veterinary Medical Center called Honoring the Bond provides support for pet owners facing tough decisions. Ohio State program helping pet owners cope with grief hopes to expand across the US, https://j.mp/2XE0y1T « ABC News Cleveland

Coping with The Holidays: Suggested Resources 2019

[Updated January 11, 2020]

A reader writes: I found your site while trying to get help dealing with the death of my sister, my best friend. I am 56, she would have been 54 next month. A monster called cancer killed her slowly and painfully. It will be 2 months next week and I miss her more every day. I don't have a memory of my childhood or adult life that does not include her. I cry more now than when she died.

Voices of Experience: Grieving through Songwriting

We're luckiest if we feel an empty space; the silence, the void that only you'd erase. Because with this, we had the gift of having you.  ~ Rachel Leycroft, Warrior

by Rachel Leycroft

My journey to this point has felt like the most profound combination of painful and beautiful. I battled severe depression for most of my life. Over the years, having never processed all of the pain I carried, the depression diagnosis began collecting some of its well-known companions: anxiety, OCD, anorexia and body dysmorphia. Some say that once we hit rock bottom, the only direction to go is up. Kristoff and I crossed paths when I began taking my first steps above rock bottom.

Caregiving & Understanding and Managing Grief, November 3 - November 9, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The following excerpt is adapted from the book Modern Loss: Candid Conversation About Grief. Beginners Welcome by Rebecca Soffer and Gabrielle Birkner, in which Soffer writes about communing over grief in a social media era. Data: Loss (and Found) on the Internet" https://j.mp/2NTny8I « CBS News

Before she died, my mother asked me to find a support group – but there were none for twentysomethings like me. Could I start my own? On Millennial Grief, 
https://j.mp/2Nxcwas « The Guardian

Heart failure care is about more than just treating the heart. Drs Mandrola and Meier discuss the importance of treating the whole person with palliative care, and its distinction from hospice care. Palliative Care in Heart Failure: Manage the Person, Not the Prognosis, https://j.mp/2qG3j6l « Medscape

In Grief: Coping With Infant Loss

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[Reviewed and updated October 23, 2023]

I remember the people I love who have died even though it brings my heart deep sadness. Not to remember them feels like I'm living a lie and like they are dying twice. ~ Dr. Joanne Cacciatore

My husband Michael and I were just out of college when we married in 1965. Less than two years later we were mourning the unexpected death of our second son, who succumbed to an Rh incompatibility when he was barely three days old.

Our baby David Luke Tousley was delivered via C-section on May 23, 1967, after what we thought had been a normal, full-term pregnancy. He died three days later, on May 26.

Understanding and Managing Grief, October 27 - November 2, 2019

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Such a difficult question to answer, “What is to come?” Dementia does not play by the dying process rules. There is no time frame we can put on dementia’s progression. What Comes Next? Dementia at End of Life, https://j.mp/2PGwsZA « BK Books

Research shows that as many as one third of seriously ill, hospitalized older people are receiving invasive treatments they don’t want at end-of-life, because no one has talked to them about their wishes for future care. To die well, we must talk about death before the end of life, https://j.mp/2oy3osd « PBS NewsHour

More companies are putting extra thought into their bereavement leave policies, one of the trickiest elements in any benefits package. Does Your Boss Have Your Back When a Loved One Dies? https://j.mp/34cx8dm « The Wall Street Journal