Understanding and Managing Grief, September 23 - September 29, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What Can Awareness of Death Teach Us About Life? http://j.mp/2QRuOmp « Seven Ponds Blog

In Grief: Being Open to Mourning, http://j.mp/2QUYrDi « Grief Healing

Grief and the Disappearing Self, http://j.mp/2xHvAcD « Rea Ginsburg

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

In Grief: Being Open to Mourning

[Reviewed and updated July 20, 2019]

Along with meditation, some of your grief will want to be written, to be cried out, to be sung, to be danced. Let the timeless wisdom within you carry you through grief to an open heart.  ~ Jack Kornfield

A reader writes: I certainly understand the loss of pets as I grieved terribly for a cat I had that was killed by a car, she was just a young cat and I feel I let her down. I also had an abortion and that was four years ago and I am still grieving to some degree. My dad I lost a year and a half ago, he was my best friend and I loved him so much but beyond the initial crying when he first passed away I can't let the grief out, though I miss him terribly, when I cry my eyes sting and I hear a voice inside telling me to dry up my tears.

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 16 - September 22, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Who knew? Nation-wide service connects people to local resources, http://j.mp/2QO3i9h « 2-1-1.org

64 of the Best Things Ever Said to a Griever, http://j.mp/2DimJo1 « What's Your Grief?

Explaining Pet Death To Children, http://j.mp/2Nr2skz «BK Books

In Grief: Acknowledging A Need for Support

[Reviewed and updated July 30, 2021]

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.  ~ Nelson Mandela

A reader writes: Ten years ago I lost my first and only wife of 47 years. All of them were fantastic years and we had a great marriage. She died after a two-year struggle with cancer. A lot of pain and lot of suffering. I cared for her in my home with the great help of hospice. She died in my arms. I continued to work through this time up until the last 3 weeks, but had awesome help from a daughter and daughter-in-law and many friends. After her death I was back on the job within 2 weeks or less and felt that I was strong and could handle the whole situation without any problem.

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 9 - September 15, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

It is a scary thing to fall in love again after loss, https://tinyurl.com/y8jrlrzj « Second Firsts

Book Review: "The Cremation of Sam McGee" by Robert Service,  http://j.mp/2MpQzWV « Seven Ponds Blog

Terminally Ill Father "Walks" Daughter Down The Wedding Aisle, http://j.mp/2MvizIv « Seven Ponds Blog

In Grief: Coping with A Spouse's Deathbed Confession

[Reviewed and updated August 15, 2022]

The truly scary thing about undiscovered lies is that they have a greater capacity to diminish us than exposed ones. They erode our strength, our self-esteem, our very foundation.  ~ Cheryl Hughes

A colleague writes: I have been searching the internet for information on a situation that one of my newly referred clients has and am not really finding what I think I need. This client is dealing with the deathbed confession of her spouse. He had been cheating on her for many years. I meet with her next week and just wanted to do some prep work prior to our meeting. Any suggestions?

Caregiving and Hospice, September 2 - September 8, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Internship introduces ASU students to hospice and palliative care, « ASU Now: Access, Excellence, Impact http://j.mp/2NYq3W0

How Creating a Vision Board Can Help With End-of-Life Planning, http://j.mp/2CqQ9Qr  « Thrive Global

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 2 - September 8, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief doesn’t have five stages, http://j.mp/2CpKgmg « The Outline

Updated Today: Grief Bibliography, http://j.mp/2ykZci7 « Grief Healing

Why Am I So Crabby? http://j.mp/2MPNSDa « Grief Compass

Grief and Resilience: Suggested Resources

Credit: Barrie Johnson, Unsplash

[Reviewed and updated November 7, 2021]

Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.  ~ Helen Keller

A reader writes: Do you have any suggestion of articles about grief and resilience? I am a bit confused about resilience. I've been targeted with that word/advice which to me doesn't make sense with what I'm going through. So, I would like to learn more. Thanks in advance.

My response: Quite a bit has been written on the topic of resilience, some of which specifically addresses grief and mourning, and some of which is more general in nature. Here is just a sampling:

Resilient Grieving: Finding Strength and Embracing Life After a Loss That Changes Everything - Book by Lucy Hone

The Other Side of Sadness: What The New Science of Bereavement Tells Us About Life After Loss - Book by George A. Bonanno

Soaring Spirits Resilience Center - The Soaring Spirits Resilience Center takes a unique approach to compiling research-informed tools and resources by harnessing the power of shared experience. The research of the Soaring Spirits Resilience Center is made possible by a huge community of widowed people. Every stage of our research and program design has been created by widowed men and women who are making meaning from their own grief experiences by participating in the creation of tools and resources that will aid the widowed people who come after them.

Getting Mojo Back: Tools to Help Grief-Stricken People to Develop Resilience  - Resilience is like a muscle. One can build it over a period of time.  That is what counselors, psychologists, doctors, and experts propound. Owing to the pandemic, sharing grief has become much more difficult with many people unable to give or receive a hug during times of tragedy. Option B, a global portal dedicated to building resilience, is for such people. 

Resilience is about falling into your own strength by Jerri Clark - Lately I’ve been pondering the word resilience. It doesn’t mean keeping your chin up and being okay no matter what happens. It DOES NOT MEAN THAT. Our society has such a limited collective opinion about human emotion. Bright, bubbly happiness gets way too much press. There’s this weird misunderstanding that resilience must be gifted to some souls like the tap of a fairy wand—a “blessing.” (That’s a word I despise, but not the topic of this short essay.) People seem to believe that resilience either is or isn’t a strength of theirs and miss the whole point that resilience is a skill to be cultivated.

Sheryl Sandberg talks grief, resilience and 'Option B' - On this episode of Recode Decode, hosted by Kara Swisher, Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg stopped by to talk about the events that led to her new book, Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy.

Option B: Build Resilience in the Face of Adversity - OptionB.Org is dedicated to helping you build resilience in the face of adversity—and giving you the tools to help your family, friends, and community build resilience too. Here, you can read and share personal stories, join groups for solidarity and support, and find information from experts.

Brokenness, Sorrow, and Resilience in Loss by Thomas Attig - Today I want to tell you some stories to illustrate what I've learned about brokenness, sorrow, and resilience, and especially about what enables us to relearn the world following loss.  

Is There a Connection Between Grief and Resilience? - We're sure you've heard this quote from the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche: 'That which does not kill us makes us stronger.' Over the years, many grieving individuals have found the truth within his words: while it sometimes feels as if you'll die from the emotional, psychological and physical effects of grief, there is the potential for self-growth within the experience of bereavement. Here we look at the relationship between grieving and the development of greater resilience.

An Interview with George Bonanno on Bereavement  - Dr. Bonanno describes lessons learned from his 30 year research career studying bereavement (grief in response to the death of a significant other). His findings debunk many grief myths that are widely held, including the notion that grief is always a drawn out process, and that it proceeds as a predictable series of stages. In reality, many people get over their losses fairly quickly. Rather than stages, the typical experience is more like periods of sadness that gradually get less intense. It is also the case that people normally experience intense happy emotions during bereavement as well as sad ones, moving back and forth between the two, with both emotions tending to be intensely felt but brief in duration. 

Resilience Alliance - a research organization that focuses on resilience in social-ecological systems as a basis for sustainability.

All About Resilience - Resilience is that ineffable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever. Rather than letting failure overcome them and drain their resolve, they find a way to rise from the ashes.

The Road to Resilience - This brochure is intended to help readers with taking their own road to resilience. The information within describes resilience and some factors that affect how people deal with hardship. Much of the brochure focuses on developing and using a personal strategy for enhancing resilience.

Resilience.org - We like to think of [this] site as a community library with space to read and think, but also as a vibrant café in which to meet people, discuss ideas and projects, and pick up and share tips on how to build the resilience of your community, your household, or yourself.

Resilience Development in Children - Science tells us that some children develop resilience, or the ability to overcome serious hardship, while others do not. Understanding why some children do well despite adverse early experiences is crucial, because it can inform more effective policies and programs that help more children reach their full potential.

How People Learn to Become Resilient - Perception is key to resilience: Do you conceptualize an event as traumatic, or as a chance to learn and grow?

Building Resilience - Can resilience be measured and taught? Thirty years of scientific research has put the answers to these questions within our reach.

How to Make Stress Your Friend - Psychologist Kelly McGonigal outlines how we can build resilience by connecting with and caring for other people during times of stress.

Stress: The Roots of Resilience - Most people bounce back from trauma — but some never recover. Scientists are trying to work out what underlies the difference.

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Related:

• 6 Coping Skills to Work Through Grief
• Finding Meaning In Your Loss
• Grief In the Second Year: Finding Your Way
• Grief: Understanding The Process
• Resilience After Loss
• Talking to Fear
• The Thereness of Grief

© by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT, BC-TMH

Caregiving and Hospice, August 26, 2018 - September 1, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

One in Five Hospice Patients Is Discharged Alive, http://j.mp/2os3qy2 « Seven Ponds Blog

What Is the Environmental Impact of Traditional Burials and What Some Greener Alternatives? http://j.mp/2MLfmtH « Seven Ponds Blog

Now, WhatsApp for palliative care on doorstep, http://j.mp/2PlzD5y « Telegraph India

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 26, 2018 - September 1, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

7 Ways To Accommodate Little Kids at a Funeral, http://j.mp/2owyNrs « Modern Loss

For Those in Grief, Talking to a Dead Loved One Is Good for Mental Health, http://j.mp/2NbcHc8 « Teen Vogue

Is Anxiety the Missing Stage of Grief? http://j.mp/2N5zd68 « Goop

Coping with Pet Loss, August 26, 2018 - September 1, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

A Place in My Heart, When a Pet Dies, http://bit.ly/2wr0DJQ « BK Books

All Dogs Go To Heaven...Especially This One. Remembering Rudy The Wonder Dog, http://j.mp/2oj1jMY « Kelly Buckley

How to Talk to Your Veterinarian About End of Life Issues, http://j.mp/2wtNT5p « DogHealth.com

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.