In Grief: When A Friend's Mourning Pattern Seems Strange

[Reviewed and updated April 19, 2022]

Never judge another knight without first knowing the strength and cunning of the dragons he fights.  ~ Richelle E. Goodrich

A reader writes: I was wondering if you could tell me how you would best suggest telling children about a sibling that has passed before they were born. I have a friend who had a son die at 1 year. The other children who came after him were told of his death but not much else about him. The friend did not think this was the best way to deal with this but he was overruled by his wife.

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 22 - July 28, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What to Say at a Funeral or in a Card, http://j.mp/2LDHspa « What to Say When Someone Dies

Remembering Charlie: Why Children's Palliative Care Is About Never Giving Up, http://j.mp/2LIgAB8 « HuffPost

In Grief: When Sorrow Is Delayed, http://j.mp/2LEXgod « Grief Healing

In Grief: When Sorrow Is Delayed

[Reviewed and updated February 22, 2024]

My grief lies all within, and these external manners of lament are merely shadows to the unseen grief that swells with silence in the tortured soul.  ~ William Shakespeare

A reader writes: Hello I lost my mum 3 yrs ago, she died suddenly of a heart attack at 41 yrs. I was 19 at the time and had suffered the loss of a friend 7 months prior to mum’s death, as well as the separation with the father of my 14 month old son. After mum died my son, younger sister and i had to move 5 times that year until we were granted government housing. After that, life just kept going and so did i. I feel i have a lot of delayed grief which i wish desperately not to keep bottled up. If you could help me out by sending me some helpful info i would be so very grateful.

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 15 - July 21, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The Power of ‘And’: How One Word Changed The Way I Grieve,  http://j.mp/2ut0W65 « An Unexpected Family Outing

Voices of Experience: Dead Serious, http://j.mp/2upxaza « Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Voices of Experience: Dead Serious

A tell in poker is a change in a player's behavior or demeanor that is claimed by some to give clues to that player's assessment of their hand. A player gains an advantage if they observe and understand the meaning of another player's tell, particularly if the tell is unconscious and reliable.  ~ Wikipedia

Linda I. Meyers was 28 and the mother of three young boys when her mother, after a lifetime of threats, took her own life. Staggered by conflicting feelings of relief and remorse, she believed that the best way to give meaning to her mother's death was to make changes in her own life. Bolstered by the women's movement of the 70's, Linda left her marriage, went to college and received her Psy.D., raised a family, and established a fulfilling career. In her book The Tell: A Memoir, she shares stories from a colorful life ~ touched by tragedy and rich with humor. In this poignant excerpt, she describes her reactions in the aftermath of her mother's death by suicide.

Caregiving and Hospice, July 8 - July 14, 2018

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Book Review: “Everything Happens For A Reason and Other Lies I’ve Loved” by Kate Bowler,  http://j.mp/2u37ZCe « Pallimed

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 8 - July 14, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

What you should know about suicide in the wake of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain by Jennifer L. Lane, http://j.mp/2u99teo « The Gift of Second

Beginnings, http://j.mp/2u6VEx4 « Soaring Spirits International

Moving to a New Home as a Grief Coping Strategy, http://j.mp/2u4bk4e « Grieve Well

Traumatic Loss: Surviving a Parent's Sudden, Accidental Death

Find the latest version of this post here:

In Grief: When A Tragic Accident Takes A Mother's Life

A reader writes: I'm 25 years old, and I lost my mother in a surprising, tragic accident about 1 week ago. I was devastated for days, but now I don't feel much of anything... I feel saddened and confused, and I don't really know what to do... nothing feels important - but it is as if I should be feeling much worse, I don't know how to put it any better than that. The funeral was yesterday, and almost 500 people showed up to say goodbye (people were standing in the hallway doors looking it was so full), which was pretty touching considering my mom hardly ever left the house (except for work and dog walking), but it was a lovely thing. 

Caregiving and Hospice, July 1 - July 7, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

9 Ways to Soothe Someone With Dementia Who Wants to Go Home, http://j.mp/2ucxYq2 « Caring.com

Lizzy Miles: "A conspiracy of Hope" is educational for consumers and outlines the difficulties medical professionals have w/ being open and honest. LOVE that author recommends palliative care. http://j.mp/2zjaaXy « Men's Health

Be Your Brother’s Keeper, http://j.mp/2tWjB9Z « Second Firsts

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 1 - July 7, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Artifacts by Mark Liebenow, http://j.mp/2tMwi7t «  Hippocampus Magazine

Saying No to The Fourth of July, http://j.mp/2z5USVW « Modern Loss

Life lesson: Loss and grief; What is my role? http://j.mp/2tYqHtP « Hudson Star Observer

In Grief: Grateful for Grief Healing Discussion Groups

[Reviewed and updated September 8, 2019]

If the only prayer you say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.  ~ Meister Eckhart

A reader writes: I joined your online Grief Healing Discussion Groups soon after my mother died, and at the time, I got some responses from folks that really helped me. I barely posted myself because there was so much said that I felt I could rarely come up with consolations that may have made an impact.

Today, 18 months later, I can honestly say that I feel good.

Caregiving and Hospice, June 24 - June 30, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How to Be a Friend Until the End, http://j.mp/2yTzsen « Lion's Roar

Music and Memory Provides Comfort for the Elderly and Dementia Patients, http://j.mp/2tFCjCR « Seven Ponds Blog

What’s ignored in the debate over aid in dying,  http://j.mp/2yTK8tv « San Francisco Chronicle

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 24 - June 30, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Just Sit (and Other Simple Steps to Meditate Your Way Through Grief), http://j.mp/2tKw9kb « Modern Loss

I couldn’t fix you, http://j.mp/2ySu3Ev « The Grief Toolbox

Grief Support After An Overdose: Helping Families Heal, http://j.mp/2yO4lB1 « ASD

Coping with Pet Loss, June 24 - June 30, 2018

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

A Look at the Growing Trend of Pet Hospice, http://j.mp/2tHFLMl « Seven Ponds Blog

Pet Loss: Supporting Your Grieving Pet, http://j.mp/2yBmr9g « Grief Healing

Pet Loss: Afraid to Love My Remaining Pets, http://j.mp/2yHSAfy « Grief Healing

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.