Voices of Experience: My Brother's Love Became My Angel

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That is the tragedy of losing an older brother. He stays still. You keep on and one day become the older one. It's unnatural, that reversal. It's the thing that keeps the family from ever being whole again.  ~ Tiffany McDaniel, The Summer that Melted Everything

As I was clearing out some old files the other day, I came upon the following piece. It's a post that appeared some 15 years ago on what was then my website's message board. I saved it because its wisdom touched my heart, and I share it with all of you today in hopes that it touches yours. ♥

It has been 33 years since I had to experience the loss of a loved one first hand. It happened when my brother was killed by a drunk driver while standing at the side of the road. He was 21 years old. I was twelve. The experience that followed, my view of it all, and my eventual comforting conclusions of what had transpired in my life is what I want to share with you.

Caregiving and Hospice, December 18 - December 24, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

My Wishes For You This Christmas, http://j.mp/1wVMU8c « Grief Healing

6 reasons why you might have to put someone with dementia in a memory care facility, http://bit.ly/2i6sOIw « Alzheimer's Reading Room

How Can Caregivers Support Patients Without Suffering Themselves? http://bit.ly/2gYRaSU « Seven Ponds Blog

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 18 - December 24, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Updated: Coping with the Holidays: Suggested Resources 2016, http://bit.ly/2g7m25n « Grief Healing

Ease Grief by Volunteering, http://bit.ly/2hZ3rb9 « Seven Ponds Blog

New father loss song: Lukas Graham single, You're Not There, http://bit.ly/2ifgzcR « AfterTalk

Coping with Pet Loss, December 18 - December 24, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Don Lawson's Musical Tribute to Departed Animal Friends, http://ow.ly/wriT307eLnT « YouTube

How to Make Pet Loss Easier to Bear, http://bit.ly/2hivotH « A Good Goodbye

The grief of pet loss is traumatic and universal. So why don't we talk about it? http://bit.ly/2hLUQbF « The Guardian

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Grief Support Group: Should I Stay or Leave?

[Reviewed and updated June 16, 2023]

I will leave when the pain of staying is greater than the pain of leaving.  ~ Unknown

A reader writes: I've been attending a loss of spouse group for a couple months now, and last night was the first time that the whole group came at one time. It was 8 widows, all in various stages of loss. It is held at a time I normally would not be out of the house. Well, last night when I got home, I felt myself over stimulated; not emotional, but just not able to quiet my mind. I find myself worrying about one of the members. She is just two months out and she used the word desperate. She is on an anti-depressant and anti-anxiety meds, and feels they aren't working. It is not my place to say anything, but I am concerned for her.

Caregiving and Hospice, December 11 - December 17, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Helping caregivers get to know who their patients once were, before dementia, http://wapo.st/2hZLqWy « The Washington Post

How to create a tangible pre-need keepsake, http://bit.ly/2hvp6oj « A Good Goodbye

21 Amazing Facts about Funeral Celebrants, http://bit.ly/2gHYKBg « Love Lives On

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 11 - December 17, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Powerful! A Life Worth Living, http://bit.ly/2hrIx1y « The Gift of Second

Voices of Experience: Helen's Christmas Gift, http://j.mp/uuOgZW « Grief Healing

Social Media Offers New Ways to Express Grief, http://bit.ly/2hfSH7I « SevenPonds Blog

Coping with Pet Loss, December 11 - December 17, 2016

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Coping with pet loss through the gift of photography, http://bit.ly/2gWGXnL « Alicia Rius Photography

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

In Grief: Difficulty Making Decisions

[Reviewed and updated January 11, 2024]

He who rides the middle of the road gets hit from both ends.  ~ Loni Bergqvist

A reader writes: I have been browsing the Articles Worth Reading section of your Tools for Healing forum. I was wondering if there is an article or book that you can suggest for me about decision making and grief. I'm in the second year and I feel I'm making all the wrong decisions regarding my life, like job searching, where to live, how to spend money. Or I find that I'm unable to decide at all.

Caregiving and Hospice, December 4 - December 10, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

“Gimme My DaM Data”: the video, the story, the next speech, http://bit.ly/2gGhxun « e-Patient Dave

Please dear doctor, give me my results. My life is on hold. http://bit.ly/2gfom4Q « Kevin MD

Is Palliative Care Right for You? http://bit.ly/2haXB6S « SevenPonds Blog

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Understanding and Managing Grief, December 4 - December 10, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Secondary Losses: Why Grief is So Hard and Lasts So Long, http://bit.ly/2gd35Jn « The Grief Toolbox

Patton Oswalt's Year Of Magical Parenting, http://bit.ly/2h0Fu2H « GQ

What Is A Life-Cycle Celebrant? Interview With Life-Cycle Celebrant Holly Pruett: Part 1, http://bit.ly/2g1pOMW « SevenPonds Blog

Coping with Pet Loss, December 4 - December 10, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

God Squad: Being able to let go is allowing God’s will to become real, http://bit.ly/2hyk2ic « The News and Observer

Grieving for a Pet During the Holidays, http://bit.ly/2h634uR « NC State Veterinary Medicine

A Reality Check Concerning Christmas Puppies, http://bit.ly/2gU3kKJ « Spot Speaks

Pet Loss: Finding Support in A Group

[Reviewed and updated October 28, 2024]

A knowledge that another has felt as we have felt, and seen things not much otherwise than we have seen them, will continue to the end to be one of life’s choicest blessings. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

A reader writes: I have a question. I had to make one of the hardest decisions this past Saturday when I had to put down my beloved dog Bruno. I am not doing so well now. My vet knows of a pet loss support group she thinks I should attend, but I’m not sure how it could help, and I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable in a group like that. Can you tell me what you would recommend?

Caregiving and Hospice, November 27 - December 3, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

How is hospice paid for? http://bit.ly/2fMpMbL « Hospice of the Red River Valley

Lifetime of memories: Dollhouse project helps hospice patient leave legacy, http://trib.in/2gtUG5h « Chicago Tribune

What Not to Say to a Cancer Patient, http://nyti.ms/2gDj84Q « New York Times

Understanding and Managing Grief, November 27 - December 3, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Life Lessons After Death: A Doctor Explains Her Own Healing At TEDMED, http://bit.ly/2gASRpZ « Fast Company

Anxiety Attacks in Grief: Tools for Coping, http://j.mp/18jpL5t « Grief Healing

Loving My Son, After His Death, http://nyti.ms/2h568Im « New York Times

Coping with Pet Loss, November 27 - December 3, 2016

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

"No Way, No How, Nobody" Lyric Video Tribute To Animal Friends Who've Passed, by Don Lawson http://bit.ly/2glKL1f « YouTube

When a guide dog dies, the grief can be intense, http://bit.ly/2gKFB2h « San Antonio Express News

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.