Traumatic Loss: Surviving A Sibling's Fatal Accident

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In Grief: Surviving A Brother's Fatal Accident

A reader writes: I'm going through a very difficult time. My oldest brother (39) died a month ago in a car wreck. We were super close as I lived with him for 5 years and he was always  protecting me and giving me his support and guidance ( I'm 31). Even before he died he told me how much he loved me and to take care of my belly, that we will see each other in a few days -- but this never happened and I'm devastated! He was so full of life. His wife recently had a baby, they both had great jobs and just bought a new house. He had so many dreams but was robbed of all of them by a negligent driver! I'm so full of anger and hate!

My brother was sent abroad to Central America by his company. He was the passenger in a car that had an accident going to the airport. He survived this accident and was getting help by the paramedics when a stupid driver of a mini bus decided to skip the line, pass at high speed and lost control of his vehicle, hitting the scene of the accident and killing my brother and 4 other people (paramedic, officer, 2 good Samaritans). He of course survived with only a broken wrist!

What are the odds that everything that could have gone wrong went wrong? They were taking my brother out of the car right at the moment this driver lost control! Everything seems so CRUEL! I have never experienced a loss before and this is killing me. I was so happy with my life and pregnancy before and what was supposed to be the best year of my life turned into the worst in such an unfair and tragic way. I can't stop asking myself, Why him? Why us? I have 8 uncles in their 70s, 90 year old grandpas and countless cousins and nobody has experienced such a loss. It's like he was handpicked to suffer an early death. I am not religious and I am an agnostic but even if there was a God I would be so angry at it!

My brother was a good person, always smiling and supper positive. He was a loving father and husband and left behind 3 kids ages 5, 2 and a newborn baby girl. I hate how bad parents, child molesters and bad people get to live a long life, and I know a few!

I just don't know. I want answers! I miss my brother. He was so excited about being an uncle. We were supposed to grow old together and now he's gone forever, thanks to that driver's gross negligence and stupidity.