In Grief: Trying to Forget Mum's Passing
A reader writes: It's been a week since the fifth anniversary of my Mum's passing. Since then, I have found that I'm trying to forget about it. Putting it to the back of my mind and hoping it doesn't appear in a conversation. Is that wrong? It’s also been six months since I visited the cemetery, but it's not because I find it hard to go there, I suppose I feel that it's not important to. Is that wrong?
If you're wondering whether or not I had a good relationship with my Mum, the answer is I did! I had an enjoyable childhood as I was and am an only child. The memories are vague, but they are there. I now live with my maternal grandmother, and I'm thankful for her. My father hasn't spoken to me since I was about 10 (I'm 20 now). He lives down the road from me with his wife, and it does hurt that he doesn't want anything to do with me.
I have thought about going to a counsellor, but I can't, and I know I won't be able to talk to them. I prefer it when the person I'm talking with starts the conversation or just talks. Besides, I really don't have anything to say. That's why I feel I don't need counselling because there's nothing I need to let out. I suppose it's almost some sort of fear I have of talking about my feelings, is that silly? I've also tried writing in a journal, but that hasn't worked for me, and as for the letters, I would feel a bit silly doing that because I'll know that the person won't actually read it, and then I would worry that someone will see what I've written which is silly I know. Can I ask your thoughts about what I've told you?
A reader writes: It's been a week since the fifth anniversary of my Mum's passing. Since then, I have found that I'm trying to forget about it. Putting it to the back of my mind and hoping it doesn't appear in a conversation. Is that wrong? It’s also been six months since I visited the cemetery, but it's not because I find it hard to go there, I suppose I feel that it's not important to. Is that wrong?
If you're wondering whether or not I had a good relationship with my Mum, the answer is I did! I had an enjoyable childhood as I was and am an only child. The memories are vague, but they are there. I now live with my maternal grandmother, and I'm thankful for her. My father hasn't spoken to me since I was about 10 (I'm 20 now). He lives down the road from me with his wife, and it does hurt that he doesn't want anything to do with me.
I have thought about going to a counsellor, but I can't, and I know I won't be able to talk to them. I prefer it when the person I'm talking with starts the conversation or just talks. Besides, I really don't have anything to say. That's why I feel I don't need counselling because there's nothing I need to let out. I suppose it's almost some sort of fear I have of talking about my feelings, is that silly? I've also tried writing in a journal, but that hasn't worked for me, and as for the letters, I would feel a bit silly doing that because I'll know that the person won't actually read it, and then I would worry that someone will see what I've written which is silly I know. Can I ask your thoughts about what I've told you?
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