When Hospice Care Fails A Family

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When Hospice Care Fails to Meet Caregiver's Expectations

A reader writes: I lost my husband from a cancer. He was a fighter and I stood by him day and night all the way for seven months. I watched him deteriorate to a skeleton and when hospice was called in they did such a horrible job by letting him suffer that I cannot forgive myself for me having to shove pain medicine into his mouth will a little bit of water in a straw. I still hear him asking me what are you doing to me? Are you trying to kill me? and he was in such pain. I hate hospice for letting this happen.

They did nothing for my husband and damaged me inside. I loved my husband for forty years and I did everything in my power to help him and keep him comfortable and then this happened in the end. I am so lonely now without him I want to cry all the time, I want him to hold me and tell me he loves me as we did everyday. Help me I am falling in the cracks of life.

Caregiving and Hospice, February 15 - February 21, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

We’ll all die one day. Isn’t it time we got used to the idea? http://j.mp/1zwqcRZ « The Guardian

Let's break the association of palliative care as hospice, http://j.mp/1CWhTQF « Kevin MD

Pet Shop for Dementia Patients Improves Happiness and Behavior, http://j.mp/1Lqwkmi « Alzheimer's Reading Room

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 15 - February 21, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The Art of Grieving, http://j.mp/1qDNYXP « Peace Through Grief

A Response to the Online Flurry About "Complicated Grief," http://j.mp/1MI2MCv « Personal Growth and Grief Support Center

5 Ideas for Facing Deathiversaries, http://j.mp/1F9Z8eO « Modern Loss

Coping with Pet Loss, February 15 - February 21, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Private, Closed Pet Loss Support Group on Facebook, http://bit.ly/1Arq0t9 « The Ralph Site

Elk Rapids, MI Organization to Create Hospice for Homeless Senior Dogs, http://j.mp/1Mxab7w « Up North Live

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below.

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Voices of Experience: Growing A New Heart

Source

by Harry Proudfoot

Plants do not grow merely to satisfy ambitions or to fulfill good intentions. They thrive because someone expended effort on them.  ~ Liberty Hyde Bailey

Jane and I loved house plants in the winter. They brightened things. Jane got into creating topiaries at one point and created a heart from an old coat hanger and an English ivy. When Jane was in the hospital, I rarely got home, but when I did I made sure everything got a good drink. When I came home after she died, we had lost just one of the plants--the topiary heart. The symbolism was not lost on me.

Caregiving and Hospice, February 8 - February 14, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Excellent Review of PBS FRONTLINE's Being Mortal with Dr. Atul Gawande,  http://j.mp/1Anj3Ys « Pallimed

Researchers Identify 8 Signs of Impending Death, http://j.mp/1KMzaA6 « WebMD

Staff Concerned "We Are Starving Mom To Death," http://j.mp/17fVlCr  « Barbara Karnes Books, Inc.

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 8 - February 14, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief Rituals Can Help on Valentine's Day, http://bit.ly/gZTzkp « Grief Healing Blog

Facebook Offers New Options For Digital Life After Death, http://j.mp/1AxG5fo « NPR

Loving Differently, http://j.mp/1vIn8q5 « Widower's Grief

Coping with Pet Loss, February 8 - February 14, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Beyond Nine Lives: Hospice Care Can Support Pets Too, http://j.mp/1D5VwNL « Reston Now

Pet Loss: Euthanizing An Aggressive Dog, http://j.mp/1vdgvGp « Grief Healing Blog

Your feedback is welcome ~ please leave a comment!
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Pet Loss: Euthanizing An Aggressive Dog

[Reviewed and updated Septeber 9, 2024]

My personal feeling is that when faced with certain harm to a human or euthanasia for a pet... the human health and safety considerations take precedence. It is a "no win" situation for the family and the dog; but living in constant fear of injury from an unprovoked and unpredictable attack by an animal truly diminishes anyone's quality of life. ~ T.J. Dunn, Jr., DVM

A reader writes: I have a different kind of situation, one I grieve, but mostly feel guilty about. I adopted a puppy, loved it and took care of it. After a while, I noticed some aggressive tendencies, but underestimated the problem. It grew worse, and eventually there was nothing I could do. I put the dog to sleep. Now I feel really guilty about not knowing enough to do something. I do miss her terribly. I had her for a year and a half. Is it normal to grieve about this - for a pet I loved who turned aggressive, and for putting her down?

Caregiving and Hospice, February 1 - February 7, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The line between comfort care and murder, http://j.mp/16Dlw59 « Kevin MD

8 Factors Experts Use To Identify The Best Care For a Loved One, http://j.mp/1unVcH6 « The Caregiver Partnership

Have You Lost That Lovin’ Feeling? http://j.mp/1zsEw1w « The Intentional Caregiver

Understanding and Managing Grief, February 1 - February 7, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Coming Out To Grief, http://j.mp/1DPDsV2 « Grief Digest Magazine

'Grief and change are hard, but they are survivable': Lessons From a Grief Counselor,  http://j.mp/1BVXgDC « AL.Com Opinion

The Healing Power of Animals, http://j.mp/1zykFg2 « What's Your Grief?

Coping with Pet Loss, February 1 - February 7, 2015

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

#R.I.P.: Grieving My Dog Offline, http://j.mp/16bIHD4 « The New York Times Opinionator

Your feedback is welcome ~ please leave a comment!
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.

Voices of Experience: Reconnecting and Healing with Nature ~ T. Roosevelt and Me

There are no words that can tell the hidden spirit of the wilderness, that can reveal its mystery, its melancholy, and its charm. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Michelle Jarvie is an author and educator from Minneapolis, MN. In her beautiful essay below, she describes how she chose to observe the 36th birthday of her deceased husband: by honoring past memories, making new ones, and incorporating the healing power of nature. Michelle invites readers to connect with her online at her website, MichelleJarvie.com. See also Amazon's description and reviews of her recently published book, Then and Now: Changed Perspectives of a Young Widow.

Caregiving and Hospice, January 25 - January 31, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Dying Shouldn't Be So Brutal, http://j.mp/1CYXIoV « The New York Times Opinionator

What I'll Do With My Parents' Facebook After They Die, http://j.mp/167bGYp « The Atlantic

Healing Power of Music: Alive Inside Official Trailer 1 (2014), http://j.mp/1DqImYo « YouTube

Understanding and Managing Grief, January 25 - January 31, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

3 Volunteer Opportunities for Seniors, http://tinyurl.com/qbczrvf « The Intentional Caregiver

A Mother's Illness, a Daughter's Duty, http://j.mp/1BI20PL « The New York Times / Lens

I Had a Miscarriage. Talk To Me. http://j.mp/15UNKYv « The Washington Post

Coping with Pet Loss, January 25 - January 31, 2015

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Lessons in death through the loss of a beloved pet, http://fb.me/1BYop6zIk « Build A Smarter Mind

Why do so many try to diminish the grief we feel for pet loss? http://j.mp/1LvonNP « Wofflesnapper

How Do You Know You're Ready for Another Dog?: Life After Pet Loss, http://j.mp/1JWefMi « The Jersey Doggy