Surviving A Child's Homicide

Parents of Murdered Children, Inc.

[Reviewed and updated August 21, 2023]

When working with families and friends of people who have been murdered I find that the operative verb is never died but was killed . . . Being killed is seen as different from dying; it's unnatural, a form of theft, an act of taking something from you and your loved ones. What is taken is a person's life and all of its promise for future joy and happiness, companionship, and accomplishment. It is the most precious commodity one can steal and the greatest loss one can suffer.  ~ Helen Fitzgerald

A reader writes: I’m writing this letter in hopes of finding some peace. It will be three years next month that my son was murdered. He was only 18.

Caregiving and Hospice, September 21 - September 27, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

A Twisted Argument Against End-of-Life Care, http://j.mp/1vnSwVw « Kevin MD

New Chat and Forum for Caregivers, http://j.mp/1qEDyGj « CareGiving.com

The Dual Process Model of Grief, http://j.mp/1slPwfk « What's Your Grief?

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 21 - September 27, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The Jewish Mourning Tradition of Shiva, http://j.mp/1yuyQFg « SevenPonds Blog

National Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims, http://j.mp/YnakFi « Grief Digest Magazine

Supporting Angry Bereaved Children, http://j.mp/1t33TPY « Kids' Grief Relief

Coping with Pet Loss, September 21 - September 27, 2014

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

A happier ending for dying pets and their owners, http://j.mp/1t4GjT3 « The Boston Globe

Anticipating the Death of A Spouse

Find the updated version of this post here:

In Grief: Staying Present in the Face of Inevitable Loss

A reader writes: My husband has advanced-stage lung cancer, and I have to face the inevitable that he will die soon. It’s been 8 months; we’ve been married for 20 years. I’m sure that it’s normal, but the thoughts that are running through my head are driving me insane. I keep envisioning myself starting relationships with other men. I feel guilty like I’ve already moved on with my life. It’s survival instinct too, because I can’t support my kids on my own and I’m trying to figure out what to do with the rest of my life. I love my husband dearly. I want to be focused on the present. How do I do that?

Caregiving and Hospice, September 14 - September 20, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Comprehensive, authoritative response to recent hospice media coverage, http://j.mp/1unncFL « National Coalition for Hospice and Palliative Care

Hey Dr. Emanuel: you might not want to die when you're 75! http://j.mp/1mmDD6g « GeriPal

How to Ensure Care for Your Pets, http://j.mp/1DnkCWA « Delaware Hospice

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 14 - September 20, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The Obligation to Replenish When Mourning, http://j.mp/1rqkyAC « Ezine Articles

Growth and Grief Resources (in print), http://j.mp/1wwSID0 « What's Your Grief?

New book to help children express feelings, navigate difficulties: The Rhino Who Swallowed a Storm, http://j.mp/1r7x0Un « Amazon

Coping with Pet Loss, September 14 - September 20, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Goodbye to Jumpy: Lessons for the Health System, http://j.mp/1soEiRb « Aging Today

End of Life Care for Pets: A Guide, http://j.mp/1uDHwFg « SquadFiftyOne

Disaster Preparedness for Your Pets, http://j.mp/1pgJHIl « Spot Speaks

Should Our Dad Be Told That He's Dying?

Find the latest version of this post here:

Should We Tell Our Dad That He's Dying?

A reader writes: We know my dad is dying of cancer but apparently he still isn't aware of the truth. I don't find this to be right. I believe he should be told so if he has things he would like to say or do he can say or do them. I don't find that my stepmother is being fair with him . . . 

Caregiving and Hospice, September 7 - September 13, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Draw the Lines: The Art of Setting Boundaries, http://j.mp/1tPLHij « Pallimed

The Story of Your Life Carries Great Power, http://j.mp/1us1eU4 « It's OK to Die

The Caregiving and Meditation Connection, http://j.mp/1uzi02I « Maria Shriver

Understanding and Managing Grief, September 7 - September 13, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Helping Another in Grief, http://ow.ly/AVmpy « Healing Ebooks

Friday Favorites: September 12, 2014, http://j.mp/1BzSjCo « What's Your Grief?

The 9-11 Effect, http://j.mp/1ByxN5c « Widow's Voice

Coping with Pet Loss, September 7 - September 13, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Sunday 9/14 is National Pet Memorial Day, http://j.mp/1qPlBs9 « Grief Healing Blog

5 Strategies for Surviving the Loss of a Pet, http://j.mp/1qTgPdc « Vetstreet

How to Heal Your Heart: Dealing with Pet Loss the Best Way I Know How, http://j.mp/1lXT04N « Living the Dream

Pet Loss: National Pet Memorial Day

Source

Sunday, September 11, 2022 is National Pet Memorial Day.

Is it appropriate, you may ask, for people to memorialize a cherished companion animal? 

Some may think that conducting rituals, funerals or memorial services for dead animals – and setting aside special days to remember them – is a frivolous waste of time and money, and those who engage in such practices must be eccentric and strange.

But the fact is that elaborate funeral arrangements and lasting memorials have been used to honor beloved departed pets for thousands of years.

In Grief: Feeling Disconnected From Feeling Bad

Source

[Reviewed and updated June 19, 2022]

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.  ~ Oscar Wilde 

A reader writes: I have a dilemma that I am hoping you can remedy. Three years ago, my father passed away and two months later my mother was diagnosed with cancer. To make a long story short, my sister and I stayed upbeat and positive for our mother's sake, but she kept having one thing after another until finally she was deemed terminal. We took care of her with the help of Hospice 3 days a week, but were her sole caregivers until she passed away last April. We cried when our father passed away, but quickly stopped grieving when Mom was diagnosed.

Caregiving and Hospice, August 31 - September 6, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Hospice patient’s caregiver as advocate,  http://j.mp/1CAqwTP « Caring with Confidence

On living with Alzheimer's disease: The Genius of Marian, airing on PBS on Monday, September 8, http://j.mp/1oOR35G « POV | PBS

CME Credits Offered for Medical Professionals: The Genius of Marian, http://j.mp/1rQKKX3 « POV | PBS

Understanding and Managing Grief, August 31 - September 6, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Grief and Home Decor: Thanks For The Memories, http://j.mp/1BixoUv « Build Direct Blog

Grief In The Second Year: Finding Your Way, http://j.mp/wRiJJS « Grief Healing Blog

Armchair Analysis: Was Your Relationship 'Good' Enough to Warrant So Much Grief? http://huff.to/1m33QBx « HuffPost Healthy Living

Coping with Pet Loss, August 31 - September 6, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

There is no timetable for the grieving process, http://j.mp/1ta4L6O « The [Shreveport, LA] Times

Lost: What to Do If Your Dog Goes Missing, http://j.mp/1lHIIWP « Cesar's Way

Helpless??? On anticipating the grief of pet loss, http://j.mp/1tTeZuI « Personal Growth and Grief Support Center

Pet Loss: Why Does It Hurt So Much?

[Reviewed and updated November 17, 2024]

It is a fearful thing to love what death can touch.  ~ Anonymous

People I've encountered in my practice as a grief counselor are often shocked to discover how devastated they feel when their pets die. Statements such as “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I didn’t feel this bad when my grandmother (acquaintance, friend, relative) died” are common. And so the question arises, Why do so many of us feel the loss of a companion animal so intensely—and is it normal to feel this way?