There’s a tendency to picture widowhood as a consequence of old age, yet about one-third of widows lose their spouse before age 45. Widowhood is not something young women are prepared for, and they suffer post-traumatic stress disorder to some degree. ~ Gwen Peterson, president of Hope for Widows
A reader writes: Next month on the 8th it will have been two years since my husband died and I have to admit it still hurts horribly. I don't feel crazy anymore and I guess it is a bit less sharp...but it still hurts every day. I still cry at every anniversary and holiday. I still need to sleep with his shirt at night and I still ache for just one more hug. Will this ever stop hurting? I am 36 years old and I miss being in a relationship. Sometimes I think about dating again in the future, but I still feel like my husband's wife and the thought of loving another man feels so alien. Next week he will have been dead longer than we were together.
The total sum of our relationship together was one year, eleven months and four days....and then he died. In two days he will have been gone for one year and eleven months. I hate that I am reaching this milestone. I have moved back to my home state to stay with my parents who are taking care of my baby since I am such a mess. I just wonder: Are there are any young widows blogging out there? New single moms? I have not connected to anyone and I really feel alone in this reality I am in.
My response: My dear, I'm so very sorry to learn of the death of your dear husband; please accept my heartfelt sympathy for your loss. You've asked about young widows blogging, and I want you (and others reading this) to know about some wonderful resources aimed specifically at young widows and widowers:
Blogs and Websites
A Widow’s Pursuit
Camp Widow
Diary of A Widower
Find Your Tribe (online support group for Young, Widowed and Dating)
Fresh Widow (including My huge list of blogs by widowed people )
Griefnet.org
Grief Speaks Out on Facebook
A Widow’s Pursuit
Camp Widow
Diary of A Widower
Find Your Tribe (online support group for Young, Widowed and Dating)
Fresh Widow (including My huge list of blogs by widowed people )
Griefnet.org
Grief Speaks Out on Facebook
GYST: Your Planner for Life's Most Important Things
Hope for Widows
Hot Young Widows Club
Life As A Widower
Lost-Without-Her.com
Memoirs from Widow Island
Hope for Widows
Hot Young Widows Club
Life As A Widower
Lost-Without-Her.com
Memoirs from Widow Island
Men's Grief Network
National Widowers' Organization
Pathfinder: A Companion Guide for the Widow/er's Journey
Refuge in Grief
Single Fathers Due to Cancer
Soaring Spirits International
Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation on Facebook
Unwedded Widows on Facebook
WAY: Widowed and Young
Widow Chick
Widow Chick on Facebook
Widow’s Voice Blog
Widowed Parent
Widowed Village
Widower's Grief
Widowers Journey Podcast
Widowers Support Network
Widowers Support Network - Members Only Facebook Page
Widows Wear Stilettos
Young Widow Support Group Basics
Being a Widow by Lynn Caine
National Widowers' Organization
Pathfinder: A Companion Guide for the Widow/er's Journey
Refuge in Grief
Single Fathers Due to Cancer
Soaring Spirits International
Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation on Facebook
Unwedded Widows on Facebook
WAY: Widowed and Young
Widow Chick
Widow Chick on Facebook
Widow’s Voice Blog
Widowed Parent
Widowed Village
Widower's Grief
Widowers Journey Podcast
Widowers Support Network
Widowers Support Network - Members Only Facebook Page
Widows Wear Stilettos
Young Widow Support Group Basics
Before All Is Said and Done by Pat Miles
Being a Widow by Lynn Caine
Books for Widowers from Men's Grief Network
Confessions of a Mediocre Widow, Or, How I Lost My Husband and My Sanity by Catherine Tidd
Dream New Dreams: Reimagining My Life After Loss by Jai Pausch
Grief Diaries: Through The Eyes of A Widow by L. Fell, M. Robinson, and M. Mueller
Grief Diaries: Through The Eyes of Men by L. Fell, D. Jones and S. Hochhaus
I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing after the Death of a Loved One by Brooke Noel and Pamela D Blair,
I'm Grieving as Fast as I Can: How Young Widows and Widowers Can Cope and Heal by Linda Feinberg
Love You, Mean It: A True Story of Love, Loss and Friendship by Patricia Carrington et al
The Group: Seven Widowed Fathers Reimagine Life by Donald Rosenstein and Justin Yopp
The Widower's Journey: Helping Men Rebuild After Their Loss by Herb Knoll et al.
Then and Now: Changed Perspectives of a Young Widow by Michelle Jarvie
Two Kisses for Maddy: A Memoir of Loss and Love by Matthew Logelin
Widowed Parent Podcast with Jenny Lisk
Widower to Widower: Surviving the End of Your Most Important Relationship by Fred Colby
Other
What Not to Say: How to Reach Out to a Young Widow - "There’s a tendency to picture widowhood as a consequence of old age, yet about one-third of widows lose their spouse before age 45. Widowhood is not something young women are prepared for, and they suffer post-traumatic stress disorder to some degree, said Gwen Peterson, president of Hope for Widows Foundation. Their vision of their lives and plans for the future are shattered. How to help — even just what to say — in the face of such loss is a challenge to those who love and long to comfort someone. Most people have no idea how to approach the topic of an untimely death . . ."
Holiday Letter to a Young Widow - "Dearest Heart, This season reminds me of endings, but also of a December long ago that was a beginning. After one of the most challenging periods of Gary’s cancer and time at an alternative clinic, he returned looking much healthier. With both of us rested, we could breathe, share a beautiful Christmas, and re-embrace each other and our marriage. We were more in love than ever. It was also the beginning of the end. Sometimes, it’s best not to know.
If the me that’s now thirteen Christmases without Gary could whisper in your ear, I would share some insights to give you peace and ease the pain that was right around the corner waiting to knock you to your knees. The first thing I would say is trust your intuition. Every choice you made was the best one you could and led you to a new life of purpose in spite of feeling, for many years, like you didn’t want to go on . . ."
Hope and Healing at Camp Widow - "I'm pretty good at tapping in to my grief and leaning in to it when I need to rather than pushing it aside and playing the denial game, so I was thinking today, why do I feel 'ok' right now? Where did this 'good vibe' buzz come from? And the only thing I can really put it down to is Camp Widow. It feels like attending this event last weekend was some kind of turning point in my grief journey . . ."
Widowed Pen Pal Program - From Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation, this program is designed to connect you with a peer with whom you can share the ups and downs of the widowhood journey. You may choose to connect by email, phone, or whatever feels comfortable. Matches generally will be within ten years of each other in age, will have lost their partners within six months of each other, and will be in the same situation regarding having children.
Widower to Widower - From National Widowers Organization, a peer support program for widowers: "Most widowers who have met others who also lost their wife can attest to the power of this shared connection. It is often another widower who can recommend a book, connect someone to a support group or another resource, or simply provide reassurance."
Writings by Megan Devine - This young widow witnessed the accidental death by drowning of her partner Matt in 2009. She is a licensed clinical counselor, writer, and grief advocate. Find her at RefugeInGrief.com and on Facebook.
Note to Readers: Suggestions for additions to this list are welcome. Please feel free to leave a comment, question or tip of your own, in the Comments section!
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.
Related:
Confessions of a Mediocre Widow, Or, How I Lost My Husband and My Sanity by Catherine Tidd
Dream New Dreams: Reimagining My Life After Loss by Jai Pausch
Grief Diaries: Through The Eyes of A Widow by L. Fell, M. Robinson, and M. Mueller
Grief Diaries: Through The Eyes of Men by L. Fell, D. Jones and S. Hochhaus
I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing after the Death of a Loved One by Brooke Noel and Pamela D Blair,
I'm Grieving as Fast as I Can: How Young Widows and Widowers Can Cope and Heal by Linda Feinberg
Love You, Mean It: A True Story of Love, Loss and Friendship by Patricia Carrington et al
The Group: Seven Widowed Fathers Reimagine Life by Donald Rosenstein and Justin Yopp
The Widower's Journey: Helping Men Rebuild After Their Loss by Herb Knoll et al.
Then and Now: Changed Perspectives of a Young Widow by Michelle Jarvie
Two Kisses for Maddy: A Memoir of Loss and Love by Matthew Logelin
Widowed Parent Podcast with Jenny Lisk
Widower to Widower: Surviving the End of Your Most Important Relationship by Fred Colby
Other
What Not to Say: How to Reach Out to a Young Widow - "There’s a tendency to picture widowhood as a consequence of old age, yet about one-third of widows lose their spouse before age 45. Widowhood is not something young women are prepared for, and they suffer post-traumatic stress disorder to some degree, said Gwen Peterson, president of Hope for Widows Foundation. Their vision of their lives and plans for the future are shattered. How to help — even just what to say — in the face of such loss is a challenge to those who love and long to comfort someone. Most people have no idea how to approach the topic of an untimely death . . ."
Holiday Letter to a Young Widow - "Dearest Heart, This season reminds me of endings, but also of a December long ago that was a beginning. After one of the most challenging periods of Gary’s cancer and time at an alternative clinic, he returned looking much healthier. With both of us rested, we could breathe, share a beautiful Christmas, and re-embrace each other and our marriage. We were more in love than ever. It was also the beginning of the end. Sometimes, it’s best not to know.
If the me that’s now thirteen Christmases without Gary could whisper in your ear, I would share some insights to give you peace and ease the pain that was right around the corner waiting to knock you to your knees. The first thing I would say is trust your intuition. Every choice you made was the best one you could and led you to a new life of purpose in spite of feeling, for many years, like you didn’t want to go on . . ."
Hope and Healing at Camp Widow - "I'm pretty good at tapping in to my grief and leaning in to it when I need to rather than pushing it aside and playing the denial game, so I was thinking today, why do I feel 'ok' right now? Where did this 'good vibe' buzz come from? And the only thing I can really put it down to is Camp Widow. It feels like attending this event last weekend was some kind of turning point in my grief journey . . ."
Widowed Pen Pal Program - From Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation, this program is designed to connect you with a peer with whom you can share the ups and downs of the widowhood journey. You may choose to connect by email, phone, or whatever feels comfortable. Matches generally will be within ten years of each other in age, will have lost their partners within six months of each other, and will be in the same situation regarding having children.
Widower to Widower - From National Widowers Organization, a peer support program for widowers: "Most widowers who have met others who also lost their wife can attest to the power of this shared connection. It is often another widower who can recommend a book, connect someone to a support group or another resource, or simply provide reassurance."
Writings by Megan Devine - This young widow witnessed the accidental death by drowning of her partner Matt in 2009. She is a licensed clinical counselor, writer, and grief advocate. Find her at RefugeInGrief.com and on Facebook.
Note to Readers: Suggestions for additions to this list are welcome. Please feel free to leave a comment, question or tip of your own, in the Comments section!
If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here.
Related:
- 6 Grief Books That Actually Helped
- A Young Widower's Marathon, Part 1: Cancer and Its Aftermath
- A Young Widower's Marathon, Part 2: Healing, Resilience and Dating
- Call Me Anytime
- Financial Guide for Widows: Building Credit
- Financial Help and Benefits for Widows: 2019 Guide
- Handling Finances After The Loss Of A Family Member
- How 7 Widowed Dads Overcame Their Fear that 'The Wrong Parent Died'
- How to Widow
- In Grief: The Challenge of Cooking for One
- Inspiring Stories of Widowed Fathers in 'The Group'
- Lisa Kolb: Dating After Loss of A Partner
- My Hard, Lonely and Strangely Magical Trip through Young Widowhood
- Resources for Widows: Recommendations from The WYG Community
- Surviving Spousal Loss: Financial Concerns in Widowhood Part 1
- Surviving Spousal Loss: Financial Concerns in Widowhood Part 2
- The Group: Seven Widowed Fathers Reimagine Life
- The Hot Young Widows' Club Is Out to Change The Way We Grieve
- The Pain of The Mundane
- The Widowed Parent Podcast
- Widowed Dads: A Resource Roundup
- Widowed Fathers
- Widowed Parent
- Widowers Need to Be Coachable
- Widows Share How Family and Friends Can Be of Help
- Woman Has Photos Taken of Herself in Wedding Dress After Death of Her Fiance
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