Resources for Young Widow(er)s

[Reviewed and updated October 24, 2023]

There’s a tendency to picture widowhood as a consequence of old age, yet about one-third of widows lose their spouse before age 45. Widowhood is not something young women are prepared for, and they suffer post-traumatic stress disorder to some degree. ~ Gwen Peterson, president of Hope for Widows

A reader writes: Next month on the 8th it will have been two years since my husband died and I have to admit it still hurts horribly. I don't feel crazy anymore and I guess it is a bit less sharp...but it still hurts every day. I still cry at every anniversary and holiday. I still need to sleep with his shirt at night and I still ache for just one more hug. Will this ever stop hurting? I am 36 years old and I miss being in a relationship. Sometimes I think about dating again in the future, but I still feel like my husband's wife and the thought of loving another man feels so alien. Next week he will have been dead longer than we were together.

Caregiving and Hospice, July 20- July 26, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Oh, my. 'Dear patient: Your 5-minute appointment is awaiting you.' http://j.mp/1pkr9ap « Kevin MD

6 Tips To Guide You When Visiting Your Loved One in Memory Care, http://j.mp/1noUd47 « Alzheimer's Reading Room

Aromatherapy in end-of-life care, http://j.mp/Uy4Aqn « Caring with Confidence

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 20 -July 26, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

"Cowbells Ring... are you listening?" http://j.mp/1xc7m1h « GriefCorner

100 Songs about Grief and Loss, No. 2 http://j.mp/1qFfFF6 « What's Your Grief?

Waiting [for another grief attack], http://j.mp/1t4mwYE « Widow's Voice

Writing As a Healing Tool in Grief

Find the latest version of this post here:

Using Writing to Help with Grief

Because grief is an intensely personal experience, your personal grieving style will be unique to you and your individual personality. You may find it helpful to return to activities of self-expression that satisfy or relax you, or discover new ones that bring you comfort and relief, such as walking, hiking, playing golf, fishing, meditating, writing or journaling; engaging in hobbies (carpentry, gardening, photography, collecting) or arts and crafts (painting, drawing, modeling, woodworking); listening to or making music; or simply talking and crying.

Writing is one of the oldest methods of self-exploration, self-expression and self-discovery. An ongoing workbook, diary or journal can be a trusted friend, available to listen to you at no cost, 24 hours a day, regardless of what mood you’re in. It accepts whatever you have to say, from the ordinary to the profound, and never chastises you for what you said. You might try using a three-ring or spiral notebook, rather than a bound journal so special that you’ll never want to write in it. Write as often as possible, but not as a chore. Once you get your pen moving, your thoughts will follow. You might begin with a meaningful quotation you found or a thought you want to remember.

Caregiving and Hospice, July 13 - July 19, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Dear lawmakers: This is what it's like to be a doctor today, http://j.mp/1tYog78 « Kevin MD

Selfless Caregiving: Honoring the Hospice Patient’s Wishes, http://j.mp/1jUfV00 « Caring with Confidence

Suicide Thoughts and End of Life, http://j.mp/1oXkxBj « Barbara Karnes Books, Inc.

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 13 - July 19, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Forgiveness in Grief, http://j.mp/1nWtMT4 « Alive in Memory

Hope and Healing at Camp Widow, http://j.mp/1sAx5Cz « Widow's Voice

When Life Dishes Out the Unexpected – and it Always Does, http://j.mp/1mnwhZI « Ashley Davis Bush, LICSW

Coping with Pet Loss, July 13 - July 19, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

When is it okay to euthanize a pet? 'Enough Can Be Enough,' http://j.mp/1oRYcSX « Ezine Articles

Learning goodbye: Veterinarians fill a void by focusing on end of life care, http://j.mp/1yBRVSv « DVM 360

9 Questions to Consider When Planning Your Pet's End-of-Life Care, http://j.mp/1tWDFVs « Veterinary Wisdom Professionals

In Grief: When Tears Won’t Come

Find the latest version of this post here:

In Grief: Feeling Numb, Unable to Cry

A reader writes: My only sibling and big brother passed away six months ago, he was 30 years old. I used to be able to cry. I mean I would cry at work when things got stressful, and I would cry after fighting with friends, or cry if I were purely frustrated. My brother passes away and no tears. No tears at the funeral home. No tears at the hospital. No tears at the funeral. And no tears ... six months later.

Caregiving and Hospice, July 6 - July 12, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Amen! 'Let’s not lose sight of the gifts of hospice,' http://j.mp/TZqvGH « The Daily Journal

Brilliant! Not So ‘Crazy,’ After All, http://j.mp/1sI0PL3 « Modern Loss

The Death Doula, http://j.mp/1kaBhAV « Modern Loss

Understanding and Managing Grief, July 6 - July 12, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Exploring Grief Through Photograhy by Litsa Williams, http://j.mp/1khvw4r « Prezi

Grief in the Workplace: How can Managers Balance Productivity and Compassion? http://j.mp/1oQMo6m « Theravive

Helping Grieving Children: A List of Suggested Resources, http://j.mp/15BOJqS « Grief Healing Blog

Coping with Pet Loss, July 6 - July 12, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Euthanasia From the Veterinarian’s Perspective, http://j.mp/TZsVVx « Dr. Ryan Llera, DVM

Pet Loss: Keeping the Secret of a Cremation Mistake, http://j.mp/1n00ii8 « Grief Healing Blog

Waiting: In grief, facing yet another loss, http://j.mp/1rDzkEt « Personal Growth and Grief Support Center

Pet Loss: Keeping the Secret of a Cremation Mistake

[Reviewed and updated November 21, 2022]

We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the secret sits in the middle and knows. ~ Robert Frost

A reader writes: I wonder if you could give me some advice. Recently our pet cat died and we decided to have her cremated so the ashes could be scattered in our garden. I have just learned from our vet who sent the cat to the crematorium that accidentally our cat was not labeled and was mass-cremated. It now leaves me with a dilemma as I know my partner will be distraught about this. Should I get another set of ashes (which my vet says they can supply) or should I tell her the truth? I honestly don’t know where to look for advice on this. I hope you can point me in the right direction. Thank you.

Caregiving and Hospice, June 29 - July 5, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

Conversations with Your Physician about Serious Illness: Being Heard, Getting Answers, http://j.mp/1qGkk8I « American Hospice Foundation

You might be ready for hospice if… http://j.mp/1qTAmJZ « Caring with Confidence

Understanding and Managing Grief, June 29 - July 5, 2014

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

The First Year of Grief: Help for the Journey ebook, http://ow.ly/yDM9O « Self-Healing Expressions

The Hungry Mourner: How the world marks death with food, http://j.mp/TFX7VE « Modern Loss

Does Gender Affect How We Grieve? http://j.mp/1j1uOxj « Pilgrimage through Loss