[Reviewed and updated April 7, 2024]
Words can sometimes, in moments of grace, attain the quality of deeds. ~ Elie Wiesel
Recently I was asked for my thoughts on the importance of language and the
words we use to comfort and support another in grief. Specifically this individual wanted to know what I would advise someone to say (or not say) to an animal lover who was
anticipating or coping with the loss of a pet.
No matter how good our intentions, we may find it difficult to know what to say or do in these unpleasant circumstances. It’s not that we don’t care or don’t want to help, but oftentimes another person's grief can leave us feeling awkward and uncomfortable, most especially if we’ve had no prior experience with loving and losing a cherished pet. Still, words and actions do matter, and saying or doing nothing at all (for fear of making a mistake) conveys a total lack of caring.