Giving Thanks on Memorial Day

[Reviewed and updated May 22, 2024]

While Thanksgiving is about appreciation for what you got, Memorial Day is so much deeper. It's appreciation for those who died to give you what you got. ~Doug Koktavy

When I think of Memorial Day and what it means to me, I think of how blessed I am to live in this country, where freedom still rings, even though at times we may abuse some of the freedoms we have. I think of the fallen soldiers who've paid the ultimate price that we might continue to live free, even though we so often take our freedom for granted. I also think of the families, friends and loved ones of the fallen, the unsung heroes struggling to survive in the face of unspeakable loss. I cannot imagine the depth of their pain. I don't know how to thank them for their sacrifice, save to say that I am deeply grateful ~ and promise to remember them, as I hold each and every one of them in gentle thought and prayer.



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© by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT, BC-TMH

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 22 - May 28

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Ann Faison: No Timeline for Grief, http://dlvr.it/TDMsB via @houstonfunerals

• Deb Kosmer: The End of Winter Sometimes Comes Slowly, Open to Hope, http://bit.ly/kPMGXT

• Coping with Disastrous Events, http://bit.ly/kf8kQ8 via HFA blog

• Book review: 'Shift Happens': Making Sense of Life After Job Loss, aol.it/ldRKvk via @AOL @DrDignity

• 7 reasons why it's good to cry your eyes out, http://to.pbs.org/ihDxhs via @EmotionalLife

Caregiving and Hospice, May 22 - May 28

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Virtual Support Group for Caregivers: 4 pm EDT, Sunday, June 26, http://bit.ly/ecn0626 via @jaykraker

• Animal Assisted Therapy: Horses brighten lives of hospice patients, http://owl.li/534v7 via @PallMedBriefs

• Pet therapy dogs at my hospice are called 'hospets,' via @michelleerfur

• Washington Post review of HBO film, How to Die in Oregon, http://wapo.st/l2voMQ via @doctorfisher 

• Why does Medicare pay for procedures and devices with no benefit to patients? http://nyti.ms/il1E9k via @AAHPM

Coping with Pet Loss, May 22 - May 28, 2011

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Managing your pet's last days through in-home hospice, http://ht.ly/51ax0 via @PetsforPatriots

• Entire May 2011 issue of veterinary medicine journal is on Palliative Medicine and Hospice Care for Pets, http://tinyurl.com/3zna9f8 via @PetEndofLife

• American Veterinary Medical Association's revised Guidelines for Veterinary Pet Hospice Care, http://tinyurl.com/3ttmmyc via @PetEndofLife 

• Heartwarming post on anticipatory grief and petloss, http://bit.ly/jSOnho 

• Helping Children Cope with A Pet's Euthanasia, http://bit.ly/iPJoT9

• Planning ahead for the loss of a beloved pet: a helpful new checklist, http://ow.ly/525wy by @VetWisdom 

• Children and pet loss: Coping With Bereavement,  http://bit.ly/fYqtYI by @SueAtkins

• Pet Hospice overview from AAHA, bit.ly/mvvl95 via @jmedvm

Helping Children Cope with A Pet's Euthanasia

[Reviewed and updated December 8, 2022]

Choosing to euthanize a cherished companion animal is difficult enough for adults who are faced with such a horrible decision. What's even harder for many parents is finding a way to help their children understand and accept the fact that the time has come to help the pet to die.

Trying to overprotect their children from grief, parents may make the mistake of overlooking, minimizing or avoiding altogether the pain caused by the death of a family pet. Sadly, in so doing they will have missed a valuable opportunity to teach their children a very powerful lesson in coping with the painful reality of death.

Caregiving and Hospice, May 15 - May 21

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Video: enhancing care to Veterans at end of life, http://ow.ly/4YCDV via @NHPCO_news @DeathwDignity @HospiceGSO

• Fall Prevention: Excellent tips list with pictures of each, http://ow.ly/4ZN7q via @CaregiverTweets

• Lighten up: "Dying for a Laugh" video, http://bit.ly/mTQwbz @deathwdignity via @StoryForHealing

• Finding your inner strength while caregiving, http://bit.ly/il5IIm via @Spector_Health

• Dispel the Myth: Awareness of Terminal Cancer Doesn’t Impact Survival, http://bit.ly/lwaKOe via @hospicepharmacy

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 15 - May 21

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• How Does God View Our Grief? http://goo.gl/fb/p3QrR via @sadierosefndtn

• Identifying bereaved subjects at risk of complicated grief, http://bit.ly/jgfcM6 RT @suzanakm

• Death of a close friend is a different grief, http://bit.ly/lHlauv by @pkassner via @horizonHCH

• The Road to Significance is Service, http://bit.ly/lB68tO via @ScottIrwinMD

• Four Workouts to Let Go of Emotional Pain, http://fb.me/x1euHDpH by @BobLivingstone

Coping with Pet Loss, May 15 - May 21

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Pet Loss Resource Guide (memorial ideas, gardens, resources), http://ow.ly/4YV5J via @VillageMemorial

• What the Future May Hold for Your Pet's Euthanasia,  http://bit.ly/k8q2pa via Vet Wisdom® Café

• Too Selfish to Euthanize? http://bit.ly/j9RsOJ by @NEPetHospice

Caregiving and Hospice, May 8 - May 14

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• New Ask and Answer expert, http://on.fb.me/lYjD26 @CaregiversVoice via @Caring

• Links to dozens of caregiving resources, http://bit.ly/2khU0v

• Myths about pain management, http://ow.ly/4QJfe by @HFAHospice via @MedThink @salixpharma

• Hospice Nurses Recall Memorable Moments, http://bit.ly/mqDY4q via @MVIsystems 

• More physicians referring patients to meditation and other alternative treatments, http://bo.st/mAfQBH via @ScottIrwinMD

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 8 - May 14

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Deneene Florino: Surviving and Thriving After Loss, http://fb.me/X4fYxm12 via @opentohope

• How to deal with an ex-husband’s suicide, http://bit.ly/jN1cBZ via @HealthJourneys

Coping with Pet Loss, May 7 - May 14

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Quality of life and making the euthanasia decision, http://bit.ly/iio0TA by @NEPetHospice

• How to tell when your pet is in pain, http://bit.ly/lWQPA4

• Dedicated to the compassion and care of animals at end of life, http://bit.ly/lpkZGA via @jmedvm @SeptemberMay

• Interview: dealing with guilt in petloss, http://bit.ly/abvJno

Honoring Hospice Nurses: National Nurses Week, May 6 - May 12

Nursing is an art: and if it is to be made an art, it requires an exclusive devotion as hard a preparation as any painter's or sculptor's work; for what is the having to do with dead canvas or dead marble, compared with having to do with the living body, the temple of God's spirit? It is one of the Fine Arts: I had almost said, the finest of Fine Arts.  ~ Florence Nightingale

Every year, one week is set aside to focus the nation’s attention on the diverse ways America's 3.1 million registered nurses work to save lives and to improve the health of millions of individuals.  National Nurses Week begins on May 6, marked as RN Recognition Day, and ends on May 12, the birthday of Florence Nightingale, founder of nursing as a modern profession.

Caregiving and Hospice, May 1 - May 7

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• No One Dies Alone: Interview with Program Coordinator Carleen McCornack, http://bit.ly/iItnTI by @SevenPonds

• Supporting a friend or relative who is dying, http://bit.ly/lTx26m via @myOH_AgingWell 

• Mission of hospice and palliative care is to ease suffering, http://bit.ly/lV66oM by @KathyKastner @kevinmd

• Importance of mental health at end of life, http://nyti.ms/jUoion via @ScottIrwinMD @palliativecare

• Better Way to Find Home Home Care Aides, http://ow.ly/4NNAR via @nytimes @LittmanKrooks

Coping with Pet Loss, May 1 - May 7

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• "If I become terminally ill, please call my Veterinarian!" http://tinyurl.com/2b9raez by @MeredithGould via @hospice4animals 

• Why is it so hard when a pet dies? http://is.gd/2xIE7 by @jmedvm

• The very definition of presence, http://twitvid.com/BUVJ7 @hospice4animals

• Cremation service gives animal lovers some peace, http://bit.ly/iq7TFP via @MATWCremation 

• Helping children through petloss, http://wp.me/p1kwLo-fL via @GreenRanchMom @drlisanelson

Understanding and Managing Grief, May 1 - May 7

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Embracing the pain & the joy of Mother's Day http://bit.ly/jCVMMy via @Infertilitypsyc

• Yes, another Mother's Day, http://fb.me/XDatyyuw via @opentohope

• Grief resources at Grief Healing, http://nblo.gs/hzQxu via @St_Patricks

• Seven Ways Grief Has Changed Me, http://bit.ly/msKzaE by @FindMyNewNormal via @HelloGrief

• Proposed Updates To DSM V Now Available For Public Comment, http://bit.ly/mAzO6T via @ScottIrwinMD

A Mother's Day Tribute

[Reviewed and updated May 1, 2022]

Your mother will never leave you.  She persists like an echo after the source has gone.  ~ Unknown

The following was written for Good Housekeeping Magazine by Temple Bailey in 1933.  In the days leading up to Mother's Day this year, I offer it here as a special tribute to my own mother, and to yours:

The young mother set her foot on the path of life.

"Is this the long way?" she asked.

And the Guide said, "Yes, and the way is hard.  And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning."

Caregiving and Hospice, April 24 - April 30

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• In the End: 10 Things Not to Do During a Loved One's Last Hours, http://huff.to/kl5DNV

• Family caregiving resource library: 1009 most useful resources in one place, http://ow.ly/4Jp3L via @CaregiverTweets

• Helpful! Family Caregiver's Network videos, http://bit.ly/kVVWbv via @SanDiegoHospice @jennjilks

• Check out Caregiving section of National Resource Center on LGBT Aging site, launched on March 30, http://www.lgbtagingcenter.org via @ASAging

• Hospice CEO defends BBC program; calls for open, honest debate on death and dying, http://bit.ly/it0RNB via @hospicepharmacy

Understanding and Managing Grief, April 24 - April 30

Best selections from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Empty Nest: Coping with a different type of loss, http://bit.ly/l0fvTz

• Music for a grieving heart. A nice list of grief songs, http://bit.ly/11rtcf

• What Is Complicated Grief? http://bit.ly/hYoB03

• Understanding Different Grief Patterns in Your Family, http://bit.ly/2oGvI

• Widow's Voice: When good things happen to sad people http://bit.ly/gU8gSS

Coping with Pet Loss, April 24 - April 30

Best selection from Grief Healing's Twitter stream this week:

• Five Tips to Help You with the Pet Cremation Process, http://tiny.ly/qGHh by @PawsWhiskersWag