Healing Grief through the Gift of Volunteering

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[Reviewed and updated October 23, 2023]

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late . . . the love of our neighbor in all its fullness simply means being able to say to him, 'What are you going through?' ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Depending upon where you are in your grief journey, at some point you may feel the need to channel your pain, as well as the time and energy once devoted to your relationship with your loved one, into something productive and meaningful ~ through the gift of volunteering. As one who truly understands the grieving process, you may feel ready to reach out to others who are suffering the pain of loss. Now that you’ve found your own way through so many challenges of grief, you have a great deal to share with others who are suffering: you can identify with their struggles, empathize with their sorrows and doubts, and offer valuable information and support.

Giving of yourself as a volunteer enables you to pursue personal interests, polish old skills and learn new ones, and make a positive difference in your community.

You can learn more about volunteering, find your local volunteer center and choose the interest area you want to explore at the Points of Light Foundation's Volunteer Center National Network .

See also the links to local volunteer opportunities on the AARP Community Service: Home Page. To help you balance service and your busy schedule, AARP’s Office of Volunteer and Civic Engagement can help you find creative options for getting involved. Enter your Zip code at Create the Good to learn about local opportunities. The site also has detailed “how-to” guides you can download, as well as other “do-it-yourself” ideas for doing good.

Other useful information on volunteering can be found on these Web sites:

Project Linus: Providing Security through Blankets

Feeding America: Find a Volunteer Opportunity

Star Legacy Foundation: Dedicated to Stillbirth Research, Education

Healthcare Volunteer: Global Portal for Healthcare Volunteers

Kindness Ideas, from Random Acts of Kindness Foundation

September 11 National Day of Service

Ten Tips on Volunteering Wisely

Volunteer Match: Where Volunteering Begins

According to the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization, more than 450,000 trained volunteers provide more than 19 million hours of service to hospice programs every year, and they are often hailed as the backbone of the country's hospice services. If you’re interested in becoming a hospice volunteer, contact your local hospice organization – or consider some of the agencies that offer in-depth training applicable to all hospice settings:

Hospice Volunteer Association

Volunteer Hospice Network

Hospice Volunteer Training Institute

Hospice Volunteer Training Series

Metta Institute

Upaya Institute

You can learn more in Angela Morrow’s informative article, What Is a Hospice Volunteer?  and in Lizzy Miles' honest and touching personal account, Diary of a New Hospice Volunteer. In Become A Volunteer, Hospice Foundation of America describes the many different ways that hospice volunteers can serve, while volunteers from around the country describe their roles and share their experiences in its video, Time . . . to Help Others. Also highly recommended is Stan Goldberg's inspiring book, Lessons for the Living: Stories of Forgiveness, Gratitude, and Courage at the End of Life, in which the author shares the wisdom he gains from being a hospice volunteer.

In this heartwarming video, Susan Rose explains what's kept her volunteering at Hospice of the Valley since 1977:



Giving back to the courageous folks who serve your community is yet another alternative. Consider how Scott Mastley (whose brother died in an auto crash) honors the men in his local fire department every year, as a way of thanking the individual fireman who comforted his brother as he lay dying. He writes,

"I gathered the courage to call the man who sat in the car with my brother while they waited for the ambulance to arrive. The man was a fireman, and he was off duty, painting a house to earn extra money, when he saw the accident." Read on here: Turkey Talks: Thanking the Man Who Comforted My Brother.

In Giving to Others Helped Mom Make It through Loss of Daughter, bereaved mother Jenny Hander describes how she brought hope and healing back into her life following the death of her newborn. Because her baby was a twin, she realized she had a double supply of stuffed animals, toys and books for her surviving daughter – far more than she needed. Beginning at home and branching out into her community, she began collecting and distributing new and gently loved stuffed animals to children in her city, on behalf of the national organization SAFE (Stuffed Animals For Emergencies).  “Donating stuffed animals to children in need allowed me to share the love I had for my daughter who had passed,” Jenny writes. “In two years, I distributed over 2,000 stuffed animals to local children’s shelters and hospitals.” According to their Web site, SAFE chapter members “collect new and gently used stuffed animals, toys, books and blankets to be redistributed to emergency organizations, children’s services, hospitals, homeless shelters and many other places that help children during times of crisis. These emergency organizations use the stuffed animals to ease the children’s nerves and calm their fears. Your donations let the children know you care and help them feel a little more SAFE when they need it most.”

For her part, Personal Property Services expert Julie E. Hall encourages readers to Use Your Stuff to Bless Others . Find more compassionate advice “for dealing with a lifetime accumulation of stuff” on Julie’s helpful and informative blog, The Estate Lady.

Especially at this time of year, when so much of the focus is on gift-giving, you might consider asking yourself these questions: Is there something you've always wanted to learn how to do? What causes or issues are important to you? What skills do you have that you could offer to others? Are you ready to offer the gift of volunteering?

Your feedback is welcome! Please feel free to leave a comment or a question, or share a tip, a related article or a resource of your own in the Comments section below. If you’d like Grief Healing Blog updates delivered right to your inbox, you’re cordially invited to subscribe to our weekly Grief Healing Newsletter. Sign up here. 

Related Articles:

• 3 Volunteer Opportunities for Seniors
• 5 Ways Grieving Kids Changed My Own Relationship with Loss
• 12 Social Work Volunteer Opportunities
• Become A Hospice Volunteer
• Blessings Bring Comfort and Peace
• Building Friendships Through Alzherimer's Buddies
• Ease Grief by Volunteering
• Ella's Gift: RI Woman Writes Book about Dog and Caring for Hospice Children
• For Volunteers: Music and Memory Program
• Giving Back in Grief
• Grievers Helping Grievers
• Healing My Heart at Hospicare
• Helping Others to Help Yourself
• Here's What It Takes to Be a Hospice Volunteer
• Hospice Volunteers Brochure
• How to Get A Therapy Pet Certification
• How to Volunteer with a Dog (and Other Furry Friends)
• How Volunteering for Hospice Changed My Life
• In Appreciation of Those Working and Volunteering in Grief
• Let's Start Volunteering As Older Adults
• Life Lessons Learned from Hospice Patients
• Men Need to Have Purpose
• Personal Loss Leads to Career in Helping Others with Their Grief
• Recognizing The Vital Role of Hospice Volunteers
• Reports from the Zen Hospice: Stories Heard and Lessons Learned by a Volunteer
• The Hospice Volunteer: Weaving a Fabric of Faith
• The Role of The Hospice Volunteer
• Video: Time to Help Others
• Volunteer. It's Good for You
• Volunteering May Make People Happier, Study Finds
• Volunteering with Hospice: A Language Of The Heart
• What Being A Hospice Volunteer Taught Me About Death and Life
• What My Dog Taught Me About End of Life

© by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT, BC-TMH

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