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A reader writes: I have been saving sick, feral kittens for over five years. I expend an enormous amount of time, energy and financial resources to heal them before adopting them out. I used to find them homes by running an ad in our local papers, but on the advice of my vet, began utilizing Animal Humane Shelters so they could be spayed/neutured and vaccinated. I recently surrendered four beautiful, young cats to one of these facilities. They were instructed that under no circumstance were they to be euthanized; instead, I was to be contacted and offered the opportunity to reclaim/adopt them. They disregarded my request and last week, all four kittens were put to sleep. I am beside myself with grief and guilt. I do not/cannot understand why I am hurting so bad. My intention was to find them a home. Should I have just kept them? Should I not save anymore of these kittens, as the outcome will be the same? I cannot cope with this loss. My younger two children believe they were adopted, so I cannot show any sign of grief in their presence, but when they are absent, I cry; I wail to the point I cannot breathe. Please, help me to understand, if you can, why this pain is so far- reaching and whatever words of comfort will be much appreciated.
