After Death Communication

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[Reviewed and updated August 2, 2023]

Of all the various ways that grief can express itself, perhaps one of the most unsettling is to experience the presence of a lost loved one some time after the death has occurred.  When one so dear to us is gone, it can be very hard to accept that the individual is really dead.  We may think about and dream about our beloved much of the time, and it may seem as if everything around us is a reminder of the one we have lost.  Sometimes we may think we've seen, heard or been touched by the individual--or even that we've received a symbolic communication or message from the one who has died, in the form of a meaningful signal or a vivid dream that appears very real.  Some people find this to be very frightening and disorienting, while others find it to be quite helpful and even comforting. Known as an ADC, or after-death communication, such a mystical experience is by no means abnormal, nor does it forecast a complicated grief reaction.  While some may find them distressing, it is generally believed that such mystical experiences have great power and personal significance for the mourner and may be an important, if not vital, part of healing.

Nowadays grief counselors are encouraged to support, enable and empower grief-stricken individuals to maintain their loving connections with their deceased loved ones. In the official newsletter of the Association for Death Education and Counseling, for example, licensed grief counselor Jane Bissler advocates for parents needing to maintain a bond with their child who has died, and calls upon bereavement professionals to include this in our practice. "Helping these bereaved parents to know the significance of continuing bonds is our new responsibility," she writes. "Nor is it enough for them to know about it. It is imperative that they also be taught how to create a new relationship with their child rather than letting it go." ("My Child Has Died, and So Have I! Grieving the Loss of An Adolescent Child," The Forum, January 2009).

In a study reported in OMEGA—Journal of Death and Dying (Volume 59, Number 2 / 2009), researchers examined subjects’ accounts of post-death encounters and their positive effects on the bereaved. Their findings: The encounters profoundly affected the participants’ beliefs in an afterlife and attitudes toward life and death, and had a significant effect on their grief. Finally, post-death encounters had a healing effect on the participants by contributing to a sense of connectedness with the deceased. We conclude that health care professionals and counselors should be educated about post-death encounters so that the bereaved can share their experiences in a supportive and understanding atmosphere.

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Related Articles:

• After-Death Communication, Continued
• After-Death Communication: A List of Resources

© by Marty Tousley, RN, MS, FT, BC-TMH

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