Grief Healing: When Mother’s Day Hurts: Selected Resources

[Reviewed and updated May 1, 2022]

God could not be everywhere, and therefore He made mothers ~ Rudyard Kipling

While it may be a special day for many, Mother's Day is a holiday that challenges the endurance of motherless children, as well as mothers and grandmothers whose children or grandchildren have died. Below is a collection of articles offering insights, comfort and support, as well as various ways to cope. Click on the titles to read more:

Mother's Day Is Here, Again ~  Mother's Day is here. I wish people knew that this day, now over-commercialized, over-sentimentalized, overblown and over-filled with spending, obligation, and long waits at any brunch-worthy restaurant, was first created by and for bereaved mothers who shared it with all other mothers. They started it not to elevate to superiority the mother and her role in family and society, or even to simply honor motherhood. Did you know that the women who started Mother’s Day were actively working to help lower infant mortality rates? That they protested the wars that had taken the lives of their sons? That they were working to form bonds with other mothers whose children were also lost to war? . . .

5 Ways to Remember Mom – Managing Grief on Mother’s Day ~ Mother’s Day can be a hard holiday to handle when you’ve lost your mom. If it’s a recent loss, the omnipresent messages of Mother’s Day may feel like too much to bear. If more time has passed, Mother’s Day may inspire you to do something special to honor the memory of the woman who’s always in your heart . . .

Coping with Grief on Mother’s Day  ~ Not everyone will be able to celebrate Mother’s Day this Sunday. For those who have lost a mother, it can be a painful day of mourning, especially if this is the first Mother’s Day without Mom or if young children are grieving, too. This may also be a hard day for women who have experienced infertility, pregnancy loss or the loss of a child. Here are six suggestions for coping . . .

A Mother’s Day Tribute ~ A lovely piece written for Good Housekeeping Magazine by Temple Bailey in 1933: The young mother set her foot on the path of life . . .

Coping with Loss on Mother’s Day ~ Although Mother's Day is usually a time of celebration, for some--those who have lost a child or a mother, are struggling with infertility, or have a difficult relationship with their mother--the day can be filled with pain. Here are 15 tips from Beliefnet readers on getting through this difficult time . . .

Grieving the Loss of a Mom on Mother’s Day, by Helen Jung ~ For many kids and adults who have lost a parent, Mother's Day can bring a sense of isolation as they cope privately with their grief while others happily celebrate with Mother's Day brunch specials and flower deliveries . . .

Being the Mother of a Child Who Died – On Mother’s Day, by Claire McCarthy, MD ~ It's a terrible day for those of us who have lost a child. Other days of the year you can maybe make it a few hours without thinking about your loss; other days of the year you can pretend that you are an ordinary person and that life is normal. But not on Mother's Day . . .

Dealing with Grief on Mother’s Day, by Kori Ellis, ~ For those who have lost a child, Mother's Day can be a very painful holiday. Give yourself permission to feel sadness and grief, and find ways to honor your child's memory during this very challenging time . . .

How a Motherless Daughter Gets Through Mother’s Day, by Jeryl Brunner ~ Somehow, this time of year, when I see one of those "celebrate the mom in your life" ads, I feel that same icky jolt that I first did . . . when my mother's death was just too new, too raw. Those ads are a harsh reminder that I'm pressed against the candy store window -- watching, longing, still wondering why. How? How could my mother, so full of life, with so much left to do and give, have perished?

A Painful Mother’s Day Made Joyful, by Tom Hallman ~ With Mother's Day approaching, many children of all ages are naturally looking for greeting cards, planning brunches and trying to remember what variety of flower their mother most loves. But for some children, the day is a painful reminder of all they've lost because their mothers have died . . .

Dealing with Grief On Mother’s Day, by Wendy Litner ~ I think that's how I cope with my mother's death. I take all the love, drawing it in from the tips of my fingers and the tips of my toes. I gather all the tenderness, all the warmth and affection, spilling over from my loss. I roll it all together and give it to my husband. I give it to my brothers and their families, my father and my extended family. I give it to my friends and all the people I care for, collecting even more people as I go . . .

Parentless Parents: Strategies for a Better Mother’s Day, by Allison Gilbert  ~ When my mom passed away when I was 25, before I was married and had children of my own, the holiday changed forever. The truth is, being a mom hasn't removed the part of me that was also a daughter, and sometimes Mother's Day is just a painful reminder of her absence . . .

A Letter to My Daughters: Mother’s Day After a Death, by Eleanor Haley ~ Dear Girls . . . As you know, my mom, your grandmother, died before you were born. Maybe I’m being cynical, but for me Mother’s Day is really just an agitating reminder of this. There are a lot of agitating reminders, but Mother’s Day is by far the most egregious. The brunches, the cards, the commercials, the flowers – they all make me feel like I’m the Grinch and the world is singing “fahoo fores” while I’m up on a frozen mountain with my self pity and a dog in a reindeer disguise . . .

Remembering My Mom on Mother's Day, by Marty Tousley ~ On this Mother's Day I wish to pay tribute to my own mother, Evelyn Cecilia Merritt, by remembering her and sharing with you the special person she was . . .

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